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a l i z a r i n R E D the red light district |
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Sunday, 4 May 2008 The past weekend--I had a long one because I took Friday off from work--was quite interesting. In fact, it was very nerve-wrecking. Anything but boring. I was teetering on the edge of insanity.See, I set the time aside specifically to finish my art entry to Metrobank's Art & Design Excellence competition. Deadline is on May 9 and as I am quite the procrastinator, I didn't start painting a month ago as originally planned. Well, I did but only in spurts. The bulk of the work I did only this weekend. A really bad idea. Well, a good one if you want to give yourself a heart attack! Sigh. I know. I alone am the one responsible for the ticking time bomb state I was in. Hehe Anyway, I wouldn't be as tense if MADE did not require the artwork be photographed FRAMED. I couldn't find a framing shop that could do the job in less than three days. Most required at least ten days and were not really open to accepting rush jobs--I was a bit irritated by the girl from this framing store in MOA. I was trying to negotiate about the time and she was being rude about it. As in I wanted to throw the sample frame at her!!! Kidding! So there I was, already resigned to having it photographed unframed. Then a burst of light came. Haha. Bea, my new best friend Bea (yeah BFFs forever! hahaha), called and told me she found an art store in UP that could finish the job on Wednesday--which is even earlier than the deadline I set! I got Bea to join the painting competition with me and we were both really on the verge of giving up about the framing requirements (she was more relaxed about it though hehe) when she happened to have lunch at Chocolate Kiss with her cousin and voila! Art Circle was right across the room! I remember the last time I paid that gallery a visit--I was still in college and taking CD's oil painting elective in Ateneo! Hehe that sorta gave me the goosebumps. I felt as if I was right where I should be. :) It wasn't until then that I realized how much time, effort, energy and emotion I have invested into this competition. As in I was a bundle of nerves the entire drive to UP Diliman. The moment I stepped into that art gallery, sheer and utter relief! Home sweet home! I now know why I haven't touched a paint brush in the past four years. Art brings out the best and worst in me. During painting, there were moments wherein I would really be on the verge of losing it. As in there was a time yesterday that if Bea didn't call, I would've thrown away and trashed that painting out of anger! That painting witnessed not only my moments of success and exhilaration, it brought out my dark side as well. I do not like the frustration it brings, the moments of self doubt...facing my insecurities head on...my fear of failure...it takes a lot out of me. Every moment of art makes for an incredibly raw and vulnerable experience. A breakthrough. But then there is always that silver lining when it comes to breakthroughs--I can always choose to be my higher self. Be bigger than my fear. Bigger than my insecurities. And that is what I love about the experience. The ride is not always fun--you encounter a lot of twists, turns, and rough patches--but the feeling you get at the end of it all is just something else. A clean slate. And you also acknowledge the fact that you have just reached a higher state of being. Because you went beyond the limits you have set for yourself. :) Now I can't wait until I paint my next art work! I promise never to deprive myself of the pleasure again :) I'm thinking of going into mixed media this time. Explore other mediums until I find my niche!
posted by Anonymous @ 20:59 1 Comments:
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