a l i z a r i n R E D
the red light district
Thursday, 3 September 2009Here.
Thursday, 5 June 2008
I'm thinking of moving my blog to Wordpress. Haha I like it better than blogger...ehehe sorry!
I'm just thinking of a good blog title. And then I'll import all my entries from here and The Wicked to that new blog.
I've been really tired lately. So tired that I'm suddenly rethinking my decision to coach again. I'm talking to my new head coach later. I don't want to make a commitment that I can't keep. Or a commitment I WILL keep but out of mere compliance lang. Sigh.
I can't wait until I get myself a vacation. A REAL ONE that involves me riding a plane.
I had my evaluation at work today. It went well. I think. Hay. So sleepy.
Monday, 2 June 2008
My officemates ended up eating at North Park today and I think we all ate a bit too much. I'm feeling lethargic. All I want to do is sleep.
Watched Sex and the City last Saturday. I loved it! I'm in love with Mr. Big. What else is new? :)
So I decided to do something about my restlessness. I’m traveling again soon.
Here are my planned trips so far:
These are the confirmed ones. I want to go on day trips as well. Even if just in Tagaytay or wherever. I wanna check out Pagudpud also. Or go to Zambales again. Or go on Carlos Celdran’s Corregidor tour!
I don’t care if I go alone but I’d prefer if I have company with me, of course.So, anyone interested?
Wednesday, 28 May 2008
But, the gist of the story is...the one tonight went well. I am no longer in an I-hate-men mood. The guy redeemed mankind so members of the opposite sex are again welcome in my world. hahaha. *rolls eyes*
Anyway, I'm going on a 60s themed party this Friday and I'm channeling Twiggy. I love it. I already have a dress. Mustard Yellow. I bought it today at People are People and it is love. As in the moment I saw it hidden between the other dresses on the rack, I knew it was my destiny to have that dress. Hahahaha
I'm still trying to convince Cel to do my makeup. I mean, I'm just being a good friend here. I wouldn't want her makeup lessons to go to waste...*ahem*
I'm getting a haircut again tomorrow. Josh has been bugging me to cut the back part shorter to make it more stylish so I'm giving in. And it'll complete my Twiggy look so...all for the sake of fashion! LOL
I'm in dire need of a rejuvenating (and sedating) full body massage. haaaaaay.
I have a date later and it's with my friend J's friend A. Haha I hope he redeems every single guy on the planet later. Because I am in an I-hate-men mood. Good luck! hahaha
Sigh. Deep breaths.
Tuesday, 27 May 2008
Saying "NO", and asserting yourself, asking for what you want, expressing your true feelings, saying positive things about yourself, letting someone love and nurture you... these may all be things that are uncomfortable. But only at first.
One sure way to conquer discomfort is to simply do what is uncomfortable. Step away from complacency and dare to grow and develop yourself today. Start by choosing something that you have been putting off. Then, just do it!
>>My friend Cris sent this to me. Haha funny, twas just what I needed. :P
Friday, 23 May 2008
Yun lang. Hahaha
Catch of the Day! It speaks of women AND food. Hahaha perfect. Now I just have to get down to actually WRITING it. I already have the outline of the plot, still have to think of the characters' names which is a breeze, and I even have the settings in mind already. It's just the writing part I'm having trouble starting.
But I will this weekend. I intend to finish 3 chapters by Monday. I can do this. Hehe
It's funny how everything I'm doing right now is so connected. I'm writing this book, which talks a lot about dating (it's sort of Like Water for Chocolate-ish), and while I'm doing this, I've also been dating around quite a lot. Haha. So I have "research" material. Eyelove.
I'm having fun doing my "research." Wahaha. It has been interesting. >_<
You know that phrase "So many men, so little time?" Kinda feeling that right now. Hahaha aliw.
Monday, 19 May 2008
I cannot believe it but time really does fly when you take the leap. I've been coaching for almost a month now--prepared for it for more than two months--and already I've seen amazing changes in my students. It's a different feeling--making a difference in people's lives. Yes I know it sounds incredibly cheesy, especially coming from me. I am so not the person I was a year ago. I've changed so much. It's daunting. But I love it.
And as if the changes I am experiencing now aren't enough, bigger and more amazing changes are coming. I can feel it.
Now if I could only just get down and start writing that book...waaah my professional goal isn't moving as fast as I'd like. I really have to take the time out to actually WRITE it already. This week before the 2nd intensive, I'm finishing the first chapter.
Today I must have a title already. Waaaaaah! I already have a plot, a storyline. It's the title I'm having difficulty with. "7 days" must be part of the title. It has to be catchy. And not too long. Gaaaad I can do this.
Back to work now! :)
Friday, 16 May 2008
From my supposedly best friend Au:
Here's another one from Steffisan:
Tricia likes to keep up the illusion that she's one of the most pious of saints. But if most people discover just what she means by "pious", they might just not agree. It's this: not getting caught when doing something naughty while successfully keeping a "goody-goody" reputation.From my Policy group mate Bea:
And, one from Mike, my Amex drinking buddy:
Mocking bird...if im mocking you and you're mocking me, in reality you're just mocking yourself! tarish tarish, cheers to the gud lipe!haha i love drinking with trish because she just becomes sooooooooo adorable, and speaks conyo english/taglish the whole time when shes drunk! she's like a little sister to everyone, parang di mo kayang pabayaan...and she's someone i will always look out for...it's a real pleasure to have worked with you and i look forward to contniue to get to know you. great person, has a soft heart...and is a typical atenean!haha stop mocking me, you, whoever,whatever trish!!! take care sweetie!
Oh and I did go out with that guy from my office building. I asked him out, we had coffee and it was fun! Hahaha
I'm off to Dumaguete again, btw. Some time October. This time with my officemate Leah, who's also a writer. See you lolah! :)
And yes, I am still addicted to Mob Wars. I now own 2 casinos, 3 beach front hotels, 3 office buildings and I am a hotel magnate. I have almost $100M in my bank account.
DO check out my work project's blog: Mobilemo. I'm excited. I'm attending a Social Networking conference next week and one of the key note speaker's the VP of Friendster. Wahaha it appeals to the stalker in me. JOKE!
And now...I'm back to the daily grind! :)
Thursday, 8 May 2008
I have always loved art. The one time I went to New York, I squeezed in a lot of museum visits even though it ended up driving my relatives crazy. When I was in San Francisco, I'd go to SF MOMA every first Tuesday of the month to take advantage of the free entrance (haha) and I'd spend the better part of the day basking in the presence of my favorite artists' masterpieces. There was just something magical about looking at an artwork a century older than you. You know the artist has long since gone but his presence is still very much alive--a part of him is immortalized in his artwork. The first time I saw a Picasso and a Van Gogh, I got goosebumps. I felt they were in the room watching me.
I've always wanted to be an artist ever since I was a kid. And although I have pursued it as a hobby all these years, I didn't consider myself an artist. I was just a kid who liked to paint.
Last night, though...the moment I saw my work framed...in all its glory...it suddenly hit me. Putang ina artist ako!!!! Wahaha :P
It's just really different when you elevate art to the level of total self-expression. This was the first original artwork I ever did. I've been painting all my life but most of my subjects, I copied from photos from magazines or from photos I took. They were paintings, yes; but they were not works of art. They were imitations.
This one was total essence though.
I'm not going to live forever like Van Gogh, Matisse and Picasso; but a part of me has already been immortalized in that artwork. It captured a moment of me in time--my hopes and frustrations, my fear and excitement, my passion.
It captured me.
"I tell you, the more I think, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people."
-Vincent Van Gogh
"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
"Drawing is like making an expressive gesture with the advantage of permanence."
Sunday, 4 May 2008
See, I set the time aside specifically to finish my art entry to Metrobank's Art & Design Excellence competition. Deadline is on May 9 and as I am quite the procrastinator, I didn't start painting a month ago as originally planned. Well, I did but only in spurts. The bulk of the work I did only this weekend. A really bad idea. Well, a good one if you want to give yourself a heart attack!
Sigh. I know. I alone am the one responsible for the ticking time bomb state I was in. Hehe
Anyway, I wouldn't be as tense if MADE did not require the artwork be photographed FRAMED. I couldn't find a framing shop that could do the job in less than three days. Most required at least ten days and were not really open to accepting rush jobs--I was a bit irritated by the girl from this framing store in MOA. I was trying to negotiate about the time and she was being rude about it. As in I wanted to throw the sample frame at her!!!
So there I was, already resigned to having it photographed unframed. Then a burst of light came. Haha. Bea, my new best friend Bea (yeah BFFs forever! hahaha), called and told me she found an art store in UP that could finish the job on Wednesday--which is even earlier than the deadline I set! I got Bea to join the painting competition with me and we were both really on the verge of giving up about the framing requirements (she was more relaxed about it though hehe) when she happened to have lunch at Chocolate Kiss with her cousin and voila! Art Circle was right across the room! I remember the last time I paid that gallery a visit--I was still in college and taking CD's oil painting elective in Ateneo! Hehe that sorta gave me the goosebumps. I felt as if I was right where I should be. :)
It wasn't until then that I realized how much time, effort, energy and emotion I have invested into this competition. As in I was a bundle of nerves the entire drive to UP Diliman. The moment I stepped into that art gallery, sheer and utter relief! Home sweet home!
I now know why I haven't touched a paint brush in the past four years.
Art brings out the best and worst in me. During painting, there were moments wherein I would really be on the verge of losing it. As in there was a time yesterday that if Bea didn't call, I would've thrown away and trashed that painting out of anger!
That painting witnessed not only my moments of success and exhilaration, it brought out my dark side as well. I do not like the frustration it brings, the moments of self doubt...facing my insecurities head on...my fear of failure...it takes a lot out of me.
Every moment of art makes for an incredibly raw and vulnerable experience. A breakthrough.
But then there is always that silver lining when it comes to breakthroughs--I can always choose to be my higher self. Be bigger than my fear. Bigger than my insecurities. And that is what I love about the experience. The ride is not always fun--you encounter a lot of twists, turns, and rough patches--but the feeling you get at the end of it all is just something else.
A clean slate.
And you also acknowledge the fact that you have just reached a higher state of being. Because you went beyond the limits you have set for yourself. :)
Now I can't wait until I paint my next art work! I promise never to deprive myself of the pleasure again :)
I'm thinking of going into mixed media this time. Explore other mediums until I find my niche!
Saturday, 3 May 2008
Hi everyone! My friend Au's selling her Zen Touch for PhP 4,000. Second-hand. Comes with installer CD, USB, charger and leather case. It holds up to 10,000 songs.
If you're interested, text 0916-4978848 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
Wednesday, 30 April 2008
I've been busy doing one thing on top of the other, whether it's with Leap or with work or with everything else that doesn't fall under those two categories. And it's not really because I do not have the time to squeeze in a few minutes of updating. Mainly because I haven't really allowed myself to just stop and take a look back at everything that has been happening. I figured now is the time to take that little breather. :D
So what have I been up to?
Back to work! Busy day ahead! :)
Wednesday, 16 April 2008
Wahaha I couldn't resist. I saw this picture with the words "Igor Beaver" on it earlier today and I thought of you. Gee, I wonder why. Anyway, I miss you baklush! Hope all is well in Dumaguete! :)
Tuesday, 15 April 2008
Am I in danger of falling back into a particularly old, self-sabotaging one?
God. I do not even want to go there.
Sorry, talking to myself lang.
Monday, 14 April 2008
I went to Pansol, Laguna with the gang and it was just so much fun. We rented a house and we spent the whole weekend swimming, drinking by the pool, eating and the night doing videoke--mostly songs by The Beatles! It was exactly what I needed after the endless string of activities I had the past few weeks.
As in we were just goofing around in the pool--staging "synchronized swimming" contests (may criteria pa! haha), laughing at each other's faces underwater, and talking about everything BUT work. haha I loved it.
The best part of the weekend, however, was when we left Pansol to go hang out at UPLB. It wasn't planned, we weren't planning on leaving Pansol until around 8pm but it turns out we had to check out at around 5pm. We were going to this place called Magnetic Hill but it was already closed so we went over to UP. Laid a couple of blankets on the grass and we were all on our backs gazing at the moon and the stars. A halo formed around the moon that night. Sublime. It was a night ripe for talking about ghosts and spirits and other supernatural topics. Hehe
Zeph and I were watching Across the Universe on his iPod (I looooved the movie! I love The Beatles!!) while the others were listening to Wes. He had his third eye open and he was getting a feel of the place. He was telling us about spirit guardians and elementals, etc etc. I used to be so skeptical about these things but then I realized there are really times when I just cannot for the life of me explain how something happened, why the hairs on the back of my neck are suddenly standing and why I sense sudden changes in energy in a certain room, or even the mere feeling that there is somebody watching me when, really, it was just me alone in the room...I suppose it opened me up to the idea that not everything can be explained by plain logic. Hehe
Anyway. I feel so rejuvenated. Last weekend really helped replenish the energy I lost the past couple of weeks. I feel inspired again. Motivated. The week is off to a great start. :) And to think I was thinking of staying in at home for the weekend. Thanks Pinks...for talking my stubborn ass into going! hahaha :D
LEAP 36 is starting in two weeks! I'm making the most out of what's left of my free time because after the last weekend of April, my schedule will start becoming impossible again! haha But I'm really excited! I can't wait until I start coaching. Pre-coaching has already left me feeling satisfied. I really feel I am beginning to make a difference and it is just the most rewarding feeling ever. :)
Thursday, 10 April 2008
Accept your fear - there’s nothing shameful in it. Next time you shy away from a situation, stop and say to yourself, “I’m scared, but I’m still going to do it.”
As you acknowledge your feelings and keep going forward in spite of them, your self-worth and self-confidence will rise. The adrenaline from fear will change to the excitement of anticipation. Suddenly, you’ll realize the emotion you’re feeling has turned into sheer enthusiasm!
-Email from Cris :)
Wednesday, 9 April 2008
Walking barefoot in the sand.
Seeing the sun set across the horizon.
Making my mark. Complete with footprints. Haha.
EATING ICE-COLD TREATS!!!
Damn you sore throat. GO THE HELL AWAAAAY!!!!!!!!!
Hehe. This is actually an angry post.
Friggin heat. I practically melted on my way to work. The bus ride was a nightmare. I was sandwiched between two sweaty guys. Huhu. Price you pay for not buying your own car. I want a banana smoothie!