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a l i z a r i n R E D the red light district |
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Friday, 7 March 2008 Alpha maleFORTyFIED By Cecile Lopez Lilles The Philippine Star Wednesday, March 5, 2008 They are self-confident, commanding, competitive, opinionated, ambitious and goal-oriented. They are often brilliant, tire-less and intense. They are alpha males. But they also possess sometimes that very rare quality — restraint — that tempers all the other characteristics, which, when unbridled, could mark them as garden-variety tyrants and ogres. In the power hierarchy of human society, two other roles are defined and follow the alpha male. The beta male is the contender, subservient to the alpha male. The beta male acts as second-in-command and is sometimes a dethroned alpha male or can be a possible future alpha if he persists in challenging the reigning top dog. Beta males have good communication skills and are sensitive to others. They tend to downplay their strengths in order to showcase the strengths of others, which make them well-liked. This is the reason the alpha male’s position is constantly under threat. It is something that he must, at all times, labor to protect and preserve. The omega male is used in a derogatory or self-deprecating manner to refer to men at the bottom of the social hierarchy. An omega male is subservient to both alpha and males. The term alpha male can mean different things in human societies. In the workplace they are the leaders. According to Dr. Kate Ludeman and Dr. Eddie Erlandson in their book, The Alpha Male Syndrome, alpha males tend to fall into one of four types: Commanders. Intense, charismatic leaders who set the tone, mobilize the troops and infuse an organization with energy without necessarily getting into details. (They cite George Bush and Donald Trump as examples.) Visionaries. Curious, expansive, intuitive, proactive and future-oriented, they see possibilities and opportunities that others either miss or dismiss as impractical. And they inspire others with their vision. (They cite Tony Blair and Bill Gates and Michael Dell as examples.) Strategists. Methodical, systematic, often brilliant thinkers who rely more on data and facts. Strategists have superior analytic judgment and a sharp eye for patterns and problems. (They list Henry Kissinger, and Boston Red Sox president Larry Lucchino as typical strategists.) Executors. Tireless, goal-oriented doers who push plans forward with an eye for detail, relentless discipline and keen oversight, surmounting all obstacles and holding everyone accountable for their commitments. (Examples include Dell’s CEO Kevin B. Rollins and Gordon Brown — successor to Tony Blair as UK Prime Minister.) The alpha male concept endures because humans, both male and female, respond positively to leadership and the best combination of traits in a leader is alpha assertiveness and willpower combined with a softer, more sensitive and more compromising manner in dealing with others. In adult social settings the term alpha male can mean other things. It can refer to men who are very much at ease with women. They essentially date and marry the women of their choice. It is in this sense that the alpha male is often good looking, physically well-built and possessing a relatively high economic status. He is judged by his male peers not so much for his aggression and ascendancy (as in the animal world), but by his ability to get the most attractive women as mates, which is the primary reason for alpha behavior in animals. In school settings the concept of the alpha male translates to the cutest guy, who is usually a “jock,” muscle-bound and extremely athletic and competitive, while the betas are those who are less self-assured around girls and participate less in “macho” activities such as full-contact sports. The guys who join math teams or play chess at lunch are usually the beta males and may be thought of as initially less attractive by girls. It should be noted, however, that “nerds” (and here the term is used fondly and affectionately) are becoming increasingly popular because, as long-term boyfriends, they are often thought to be nicer and more respectful toward the fairer sex. How can one tell that he is in the presence of an alpha male? Very easily: he feels it! It is an unquestionably powerful vibe, something that the alpha male instantly transmits to those around him. If you have ever come within a good distance of a lion, it is that very same raw, animal magnetism that overrides any other impression and that which indiscriminately elicits awe from the beholder. This is one of the reasons why dictators, cult leaders, harem kings — all-powerful men — have their subjects eating out of the palms of their hands. At parties and similar social events alpha males are readily recognized because they have absolutely no need to dominate a room. They exude charisma, which effortlessly reels in anyone who comes within several feet of them. In contrast, there are those, usually the omega males, who put on a dog and pony show just to get noticed. Herein we may find men with a Napoleon complex: they are often vertically challenged and therefore feel compelled to resort to various measures to call attention to themselves. Short men literally disappear in crowds, so they must compensate by speaking relentlessly in loud, booming voices. This is why the regular male loudmouth is a terrible turn-off. It is because women have caught on to him: he is obviously compensating for a lack of something vital. Short men are essentially omega men so they latch on to alpha males assuming the role of sidekick or wingman. The alpha male catches the prey and the wingman provides the entertainment. Those males somewhat lacking in the looks department often take on the persona of a clown, cracking jokes left and right to provide entertainment until they successfully reel in their very own audience. They must be resourceful in order to be noticed. In a recent Hollywood film, American Gangster, Denzel Washington’s character, Frank Lucas, says it all: “The noisiest man in the room is the weakest man in the room.” This sums up the idea behind the inherent dominance of the alpha male. They are self-aware; they realize the power of their charisma and their talents. They know they are clear winners in the genetic lottery, be it in looks or smarts. And yet they are also hyper-aware of the areas in which they fall short but which they have come to terms with. In other words, they have attained full mastery of the self so that they give off a distinct aura of calm — something completely irresistible to any human being. Alpha males know what they are and what they are not and they live their lives accordingly. It is this form of enlightenment that elevates them above the rest of the pack. In my forty-something years I have met many alpha males. But the three most memorable encounters were with three popular personalities: Hollywood great Al Pacino; ex-President Fidel Ramos; and basketballer Jojo Lastimosa. Each had a commanding presence and meeting them could weaken the knees and numb the brain. Don’t ask me why, because I really can’t put my finger on it. None of them are exceptionally good looking; but maybe millions of electronically charged particles float around their personal space, ionizing whomever they come in contact with. It is indeed uncanny that five other random women to whom I have spoken report of the same out-of-body experience when they came face-to-face with Jojo Lastimosa; it’s something about his bearing, his self-effacing nature, but then it could be that he was just born with 40,000 excess tons of testosterone that draws women in like a mega-powered magnet. I really don’t know. Given that meeting Al Pacino may be too much trouble and that the chances of bumping into Fidel Ramos here, especially with his coterie of bodyguards, one’s best bet at having a religious experience with an alpha male is to come face-to-face with Jojo Lastimosa. Don’t know where to find him? Ask a sports fanatic. He’ll know where to hunt him down!
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