|
|
a l i z a r i n R E D the red light district |
|
Tuesday, 18 September 2007 It turns out my boss was very much aware of everything that happened in Cebu. The whole bit about her son and that wretched lowlife, everything. She called me to a meeting yesterday afternoon and just started talking about everything that happened. She apologized for her son and advised me to just ignore lowlife's incessant text messages. Good god, life was never this complicated!Insert Avenue Q song: I wish I could go back to college. Life was so simple back then. What would I give to go back and live in a dorm with a meal plan again? In college you know who you are. You sit in the quad and think 'OH MY GOD, I am totally gonna go far!' Apparently, said lowlife showed up at her house in the middle of the night to tell on me and Dons (we opened up to her about a couple of things about our lives before she turned psycho on us) and to sucker more people into feeling sorry for her pathetic little excuse for existence. I have never felt more betrayed. Boss also told me that tomorrow (today) we'll be drafting my contract. She told me that in light of everything that has happened, she would understand if I'm not as excited to begin really working for her. Told me to really think about it because she just wanted me to go with what would make me happy. So we're going to be meeting later this afternoon to talk about what I've decided to do. And I've decided to leave. I've been convincing myself to stay ever since I got back from Cebu. Been writing and then deleting and then rewriting my immediate notice. I've been struggling with the thought that me disengaging would mean me backing out of my commitment again, something I've been religiously avoiding ever since I resigned from my old PR company. I promised myself then that the next job I would be accepting will be THE job. And now here I am. And I just feel it in my gut, as in every cell in my body's screaming "This isn't IT Tricia!" I've realized that when it comes to keeping your commitments, you also need to commit to the thing that you feel is RIGHT for you. It's not just about keeping your word. It's about keeping your word for the RIGHT REASONS. And, clearly (though I've been denying it), the reasons I had for staying here were all wrong. I wasn't staying because I genuinely wanted to. I was staying because I needed to prove to everybody that I CAN keep my word despite everything (rather, everyone) that happened. I was staying because I wanted to show the crazy concerned people that nothing they do will EVER get in the way of me doing a great job. That they will never affect me in any way. But then my friend Alet pointed out, they clearly affected me because they were already influencing my decisions. Every fiber of my body's screaming "Get the hell out," but my mind keeps rallying against leaving because of what other people might think. Well I've had it with caring about what other people think. It's time I be responsible and me being happy is one of my biggest responsibilities. Yeah yeah, I know I sound totally self-absorbed but...well, deal with it. Some people may think me flaky but it's only because I know the difference between settling down and merely settling. I so do not plan on settling for something mediocre when I know I could do better. I'm not saying this company is mediocre, I'm saying my current situation is. Just wanted to clear that up. And anyway, if I were honest with myself, I know I have never really gone and tried HARD to get the jobs I've had in the past. They just came at opportune moments. I was bumming and I needed jobs. I guess you could say I haven't even reached for the stars yet. And, well, I'll let Kate Monster say it for me: You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime. Jeebus. Enough with the Avenue Q quotes!!! LOL Anyway, there. End of another era! :) My parents are going to fly in from Davao today. And they will be greeted with not one, but two unemployed daughters upon arrival! Wheee! My mom's going to kill me. Hehe I kid. I'm sure they'll understand once I explain everything. My sister's totally going gaga about this Korean romantic comedy series called "Coffee Prince." She's done nothing but watch it all day. It's kinda funny. Girl meets Boy. Boy thinks Girl is a Guy. Boy then thinks he's Gay because he finds himself falling for Girl. Classic! Keep you guys posted! Ciao! Labels: work
posted by Anonymous @ 14:53 0 Comments:
|
