The Red Light District

I moved

2009-09-03T13:19:00.000+08:00

Thinking about moving

2008-06-05T15:00:00.002+08:00

Nothing too drastic like moving into a new place.

I'm thinking of moving my blog to Wordpress. Haha I like it better than blogger...ehehe sorry!

I'm just thinking of a good blog title. And then I'll import all my entries from here and The Wicked to that new blog.

I've been really tired lately. So tired that I'm suddenly rethinking my decision to coach again. I'm talking to my new head coach later. I don't want to make a commitment that I can't keep. Or a commitment I WILL keep but out of mere compliance lang. Sigh.

I can't wait until I get myself a vacation. A REAL ONE that involves me riding a plane.

I had my evaluation at work today. It went well. I think. Hay. So sleepy.

Gluttony

2008-06-02T13:44:00.003+08:00

Is not good for you.

My officemates ended up eating at North Park today and I think we all ate a bit too much. I'm feeling lethargic. All I want to do is sleep.

Watched Sex and the City last Saturday. I loved it! I'm in love with Mr. Big. What else is new? :)

Sigh.

Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours.

Coming Trips

2008-06-02T11:23:00.000+08:00

So I decided to do something about my restlessness. I’m traveling again soon.

Here are my planned trips so far:

Explore Ilocos some time mid-July
Dumaguete in October with my officemates
Boracay in October (yey I love October!) with my LEAP friends

These are the confirmed ones. I want to go on day trips as well. Even if just in Tagaytay or wherever. I wanna check out Pagudpud also. Or go to Zambales again. Or go on Carlos Celdran’s Corregidor tour!

I don’t care if I go alone but I’d prefer if I have company with me, of course.

So, anyone interested?

Dating and Twiggy

2008-05-28T23:07:00.002+08:00

I just realized something. I find it weird to blog about how my dates went (details, the guy, etc etc)--I guess I have to draw the line somewhere. Hehe I suppose it's something I would rather keep to myself and my immediate friends.

But, the gist of the story is...the one tonight went well. I am no longer in an I-hate-men mood. The guy redeemed mankind so members of the opposite sex are again welcome in my world. hahaha. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, I'm going on a 60s themed party this Friday and I'm channeling Twiggy. I love it. I already have a dress. Mustard Yellow. I bought it today at People are People and it is love. As in the moment I saw it hidden between the other dresses on the rack, I knew it was my destiny to have that dress. Hahahaha

I'm still trying to convince Cel to do my makeup. I mean, I'm just being a good friend here. I wouldn't want her makeup lessons to go to waste...*ahem*

I'm getting a haircut again tomorrow. Josh has been bugging me to cut the back part shorter to make it more stylish so I'm giving in. And it'll complete my Twiggy look so...all for the sake of fashion! LOL

Agitated

2008-05-28T10:55:00.002+08:00

I've been really agitated the past two days. Swear, it has been one major headache. I can't wait til Saturday. I need ME time.

I'm in dire need of a rejuvenating (and sedating) full body massage. haaaaaay.

I have a date later and it's with my friend J's friend A. Haha I hope he redeems every single guy on the planet later. Because I am in an I-hate-men mood. Good luck! hahaha

Sigh. Deep breaths.

It is always uncomfortable to grow

2008-05-27T10:17:00.002+08:00

Many of the things that are required to build and maintain healthy self - esteem can be uncomfortable, but the truth is they are essential. The good news is, with practice, uneasiness subsides and they become part of who you are.

Saying "NO", and asserting yourself, asking for what you want, expressing your true feelings, saying positive things about yourself, letting someone love and nurture you... these may all be things that are uncomfortable. But only at first.

One sure way to conquer discomfort is to simply do what is uncomfortable. Step away from complacency and dare to grow and develop yourself today. Start by choosing something that you have been putting off. Then, just do it!

>>My friend Cris sent this to me. Haha funny, twas just what I needed. :P

Level up

2008-05-23T14:01:00.001+08:00

Leah and I ran into Level Up guy today. *faints*

Yun lang. Hahaha

Hotness!

Catch of the day

2008-05-23T09:12:00.002+08:00

I finally have a title for my book--Catch of the Day! It speaks of women AND food. Hahaha perfect. Now I just have to get down to actually WRITING it. I already have the outline of the plot, still have to think of the characters' names which is a breeze, and I even have the settings in mind already. It's just the writing part I'm having trouble starting.

But I will this weekend. I intend to finish 3 chapters by Monday. I can do this. Hehe

It's funny how everything I'm doing right now is so connected. I'm writing this book, which talks a lot about dating (it's sort of Like Water for Chocolate-ish), and while I'm doing this, I've also been dating around quite a lot. Haha. So I have "research" material. Eyelove.

I'm having fun doing my "research." Wahaha. It has been interesting. >_<

You know that phrase "So many men, so little time?" Kinda feeling that right now. Hahaha aliw.

Another day :)

2008-05-19T09:03:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was quite overwhelming. I got invited to coach again. This time by Adelle whom I just look up to so much--she's like one of the best coaches in OCCI. And although I haven't really confirmed with her yet, I already know (same way I knew when Jovy invited me) that I will do it. Waaah. Back to back. My schedule's fully booked until October then. Waha. I swear I am taking a trip to Bora or wherever when all this is over.

I cannot believe it but time really does fly when you take the leap. I've been coaching for almost a month now--prepared for it for more than two months--and already I've seen amazing changes in my students. It's a different feeling--making a difference in people's lives. Yes I know it sounds incredibly cheesy, especially coming from me. I am so not the person I was a year ago. I've changed so much. It's daunting. But I love it.

:)

And as if the changes I am experiencing now aren't enough, bigger and more amazing changes are coming. I can feel it.

Now if I could only just get down and start writing that book...waaah my professional goal isn't moving as fast as I'd like. I really have to take the time out to actually WRITE it already. This week before the 2nd intensive, I'm finishing the first chapter.

Today I must have a title already. Waaaaaah! I already have a plot, a storyline. It's the title I'm having difficulty with. "7 days" must be part of the title. It has to be catchy. And not too long. Gaaaad I can do this.

Back to work now! :)

Friendster testimonials!

2008-05-16T09:14:00.005+08:00

Haha I haven't checked my friendster account in a loooong time. Today I thought I'd revisit the past and I had a laugh out of seeing the testimonials my friends wrote about me a few years back! haha

From my supposedly best friend Au:

so feeling mo unique ka kasi
nakatabingi yang picture mo?hehehe!si
tricia,kontrabida ng buhay ko.she finds
joy in insulting & mocking me.pero
kahit na ba ganun,pinagtiya-tiyagaan ko
na lang siya kasi mabait ako.hehehe!
honestly,hindi ko na matandaan kung
pano kami naging close ni tricia pero
sobrang thankful ako na naging good
friends kami kasi wala yatang time na
magkasama kami na hindi ako tumawa.hoy
tricia thanks for the good times!see ya
soon!:)

Here's another one from Steffisan:

Tricia likes to keep up the illusion that she's one of the most pious of saints. But if most people discover just what she means by "pious", they might just not agree. It's this: not getting caught when doing something naughty while successfully keeping a "goody-goody" reputation.

She has a flair for drama and can turn any situation into a memorable Academy-award winning performance, even if her co-stars are just banners, a trash can, and an unsuspecting security guard.

She has exactly two career choices: thief or assasin. Any position she otherwise accepts is just for show.She is expressive, creative, and firmly believes in the medicinal qualities of shopping for designer items when stressed. Every boy is a plaything, except for Johnny Depp and Kiko Escorra.

Tricia is NOT normal. Please don't make the mistake of assuming she is. She bites, you know.

From my Policy group mate Bea:

TriSH (that's how I spell her name.. )

has been my blockmate since the dawn of

our college careers, but I got to know

her only very recently... (groupmate ko

ba naman in 2 subjects that req. final

papers the length of novels!) I found

that TRISH is a slacker, can finish a

pack of mentos in like 10 mins, can

finish taking a bath in 10 min, doesn't

know how to use excel (haha! ang

useless natin sa financials!)... and is

a great friend/groupmate/ka-chica! She

somehow managed to keep things humming

along during our late-night stints,

shot-gunning our marketing paper while

I did all the panicking! ;) (actually

she panicked once, too. cut ka kasi ng

cut eh!) ANyways, Thanks, man.

groupmate ulit sa Policy!! heehee! ;)

hinde, ayoko na.. baliw ka kc eh...

And, one from Mike, my Amex drinking buddy:

Mocking bird...if im mocking you and you're mocking me, in reality you're just mocking yourself! tarish tarish, cheers to the gud lipe!haha i love drinking with trish because she just becomes sooooooooo adorable, and speaks conyo english/taglish the whole time when shes drunk! she's like a little sister to everyone, parang di mo kayang pabayaan...and she's someone i will always look out for...it's a real pleasure to have worked with you and i look forward to contniue to get to know you. great person, has a soft heart...and is a typical atenean!haha stop mocking me, you, whoever,whatever trish!!! take care sweetie!

Haha.

Oh and I did go out with that guy from my office building. I asked him out, we had coffee and it was fun! Hahaha

I'm off to Dumaguete again, btw. Some time October. This time with my officemate Leah, who's also a writer. See you lolah! :)

And yes, I am still addicted to Mob Wars. I now own 2 casinos, 3 beach front hotels, 3 office buildings and I am a hotel magnate. I have almost $100M in my bank account.

DO check out my work project's blog: Mobilemo. I'm excited. I'm attending a Social Networking conference next week and one of the key note speaker's the VP of Friendster. Wahaha it appeals to the stalker in me. JOKE!

And now...I'm back to the daily grind! :)

I am an artist

2008-05-08T14:43:00.005+08:00

The instant I saw my painting finally complete and framed--I felt euphoric. Is it normal to be in love with one's own work? :) haha

I have always loved art. The one time I went to New York, I squeezed in a lot of museum visits even though it ended up driving my relatives crazy. When I was in San Francisco, I'd go to SF MOMA every first Tuesday of the month to take advantage of the free entrance (haha) and I'd spend the better part of the day basking in the presence of my favorite artists' masterpieces. There was just something magical about looking at an artwork a century older than you. You know the artist has long since gone but his presence is still very much alive--a part of him is immortalized in his artwork. The first time I saw a Picasso and a Van Gogh, I got goosebumps. I felt they were in the room watching me.

I've always wanted to be an artist ever since I was a kid. And although I have pursued it as a hobby all these years, I didn't consider myself an artist. I was just a kid who liked to paint.

Last night, though...the moment I saw my work framed...in all its glory...it suddenly hit me. Putang ina artist ako!!!! Wahaha :P

It's just really different when you elevate art to the level of total self-expression. This was the first original artwork I ever did. I've been painting all my life but most of my subjects, I copied from photos from magazines or from photos I took. They were paintings, yes; but they were not works of art. They were imitations.

This one was total essence though.

I'm not going to live forever like Van Gogh, Matisse and Picasso; but a part of me has already been immortalized in that artwork. It captured a moment of me in time--my hopes and frustrations, my fear and excitement, my passion.

It captured me.

-

"I tell you, the more I think, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people."
-Vincent Van Gogh

"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
-Pablo Picasso

"Drawing is like making an expressive gesture with the advantage of permanence."
-Henri Matisse

Art attack!

2008-05-04T20:59:00.005+08:00

The past weekend--I had a long one because I took Friday off from work--was quite interesting. In fact, it was very nerve-wrecking. Anything but boring. I was teetering on the edge of insanity.

See, I set the time aside specifically to finish my art entry to Metrobank's Art & Design Excellence competition. Deadline is on May 9 and as I am quite the procrastinator, I didn't start painting a month ago as originally planned. Well, I did but only in spurts. The bulk of the work I did only this weekend. A really bad idea. Well, a good one if you want to give yourself a heart attack!

Sigh. I know. I alone am the one responsible for the ticking time bomb state I was in. Hehe

Anyway, I wouldn't be as tense if MADE did not require the artwork be photographed FRAMED. I couldn't find a framing shop that could do the job in less than three days. Most required at least ten days and were not really open to accepting rush jobs--I was a bit irritated by the girl from this framing store in MOA. I was trying to negotiate about the time and she was being rude about it. As in I wanted to throw the sample frame at her!!!

Kidding!

So there I was, already resigned to having it photographed unframed. Then a burst of light came. Haha. Bea, my new best friend Bea (yeah BFFs forever! hahaha), called and told me she found an art store in UP that could finish the job on Wednesday--which is even earlier than the deadline I set! I got Bea to join the painting competition with me and we were both really on the verge of giving up about the framing requirements (she was more relaxed about it though hehe) when she happened to have lunch at Chocolate Kiss with her cousin and voila! Art Circle was right across the room! I remember the last time I paid that gallery a visit--I was still in college and taking CD's oil painting elective in Ateneo! Hehe that sorta gave me the goosebumps. I felt as if I was right where I should be. :)

It wasn't until then that I realized how much time, effort, energy and emotion I have invested into this competition. As in I was a bundle of nerves the entire drive to UP Diliman. The moment I stepped into that art gallery, sheer and utter relief! Home sweet home!

I now know why I haven't touched a paint brush in the past four years.

Art brings out the best and worst in me. During painting, there were moments wherein I would really be on the verge of losing it. As in there was a time yesterday that if Bea didn't call, I would've thrown away and trashed that painting out of anger!

That painting witnessed not only my moments of success and exhilaration, it brought out my dark side as well. I do not like the frustration it brings, the moments of self doubt...facing my insecurities head on...my fear of failure...it takes a lot out of me.

Every moment of art makes for an incredibly raw and vulnerable experience. A breakthrough.

But then there is always that silver lining when it comes to breakthroughs--I can always choose to be my higher self. Be bigger than my fear. Bigger than my insecurities. And that is what I love about the experience. The ride is not always fun--you encounter a lot of twists, turns, and rough patches--but the feeling you get at the end of it all is just something else.

A clean slate.

And you also acknowledge the fact that you have just reached a higher state of being. Because you went beyond the limits you have set for yourself. :)

Now I can't wait until I paint my next art work! I promise never to deprive myself of the pleasure again :)

I'm thinking of going into mixed media this time. Explore other mediums until I find my niche!

Creative Zen Touch for Sale

2008-05-03T22:03:00.001+08:00

Hi everyone! My friend Au's selling her Zen Touch for PhP 4,000. Second-hand. Comes with installer CD, USB, charger and leather case. It holds up to 10,000 songs.

SPECS:
Size : WxHxD : 4.12" x 2.7" x 0.866"
Weight : 7.05 oz with battery

Capacity: 20GB
Battery Life : Up to 24 hours of continuous playtime
Interface : USB 2.0 (backward compatible with USB 1.1)
Playback Format: MPEG Audio Layer 3 (MP3), Windows Media™ Audio (WMA) and WAV

Display: 160 x 104 pixel resolution, blue EL backlit LCD

If you're interested, text 0916-4978848 or e-mail rainblownfields@yahoo.com.

I'm back!

2008-04-30T09:09:00.002+08:00

I haven't been updating this blog for...I don't know how long. It feels like a month. :D

I've been busy doing one thing on top of the other, whether it's with Leap or with work or with everything else that doesn't fall under those two categories. And it's not really because I do not have the time to squeeze in a few minutes of updating. Mainly because I haven't really allowed myself to just stop and take a look back at everything that has been happening. I figured now is the time to take that little breather. :D

So what have I been up to?

Part of my goal in Leap is to submit an oil-on-canvas entry to the 2008 Metrobank Art and Design Excellence Competition. I started painting two weeks ago and I have to say I am just so glad to rediscover my love for making art. What I love about this particular painting I am making is that it's total self expression. As in I love it!!! I'll post pics of the finished work some time next week. Deadline of submission's on May 9 so I've blocked off the next two days to finish it.
I have a date today! Having lunch with this guy my friend J introduced me to. Haha we've been texting but today's going to be the first time we meet each other so bring it on na. haha
LEAP 1st intensive. INTENSE. Haha I loved it. I love the current LEAP team. They remind me so much of my own team as a student. It feels so good to coach. You see yourself in the students. How you were during your own Leap...and you see how much you have really changed. Galeng. And I love love love my council. I got the fun group! Yey!
I was Paris Hilton for a day. Wahahaha as in blonde wig, short skirt, sexy top--strutting my stuff on the runway! I loved it. LOL it was a hoot! wahahaha.
I don't know if I blogged about it here but I went to spend the most relaxing weekend in Pansol, Laguna. Sigh.
I'll be off to Baguio next weekend!
I finally bought myself an iPod. Yahoo! I got the new iPod Classic. 80GB worth of music, videos and photos. Saya!
I have another date coming up soon...and I plan on asking this guy from my building out on a date. Wahaha talk about empowering myself. Good luck Tricia. See yourself not chickening out this time. Haha.
Work is great. We shelved the contest for now because other things are actually working for us. We're also improving the look of the site to make it more visually appealing. hehehe I'll post the url here as soon as I feel like showing it off already. :P

I think that's pretty much it.

Back to work! Busy day ahead! :)

For Igor

2008-04-16T17:42:00.003+08:00

Wahaha I couldn't resist. I saw this picture with the words "Igor Beaver" on it earlier today and I thought of you. Gee, I wonder why. Anyway, I miss you baklush! Hope all is well in Dumaguete! :)

Patterns

2008-04-15T23:10:00.002+08:00

I had a brief moment of panic earlier tonight.

About patterns.

Am I in danger of falling back into a particularly old, self-sabotaging one?

God. I do not even want to go there.

Sorry, talking to myself lang.

Rejuvenated :)

2008-04-14T09:31:00.003+08:00

I had the best weekend! :)

I went to Pansol, Laguna with the gang and it was just so much fun. We rented a house and we spent the whole weekend swimming, drinking by the pool, eating and the night doing videoke--mostly songs by The Beatles! It was exactly what I needed after the endless string of activities I had the past few weeks.

As in we were just goofing around in the pool--staging "synchronized swimming" contests (may criteria pa! haha), laughing at each other's faces underwater, and talking about everything BUT work. haha I loved it.

The best part of the weekend, however, was when we left Pansol to go hang out at UPLB. It wasn't planned, we weren't planning on leaving Pansol until around 8pm but it turns out we had to check out at around 5pm. We were going to this place called Magnetic Hill but it was already closed so we went over to UP. Laid a couple of blankets on the grass and we were all on our backs gazing at the moon and the stars. A halo formed around the moon that night. Sublime. It was a night ripe for talking about ghosts and spirits and other supernatural topics. Hehe

Zeph and I were watching Across the Universe on his iPod (I looooved the movie! I love The Beatles!!) while the others were listening to Wes. He had his third eye open and he was getting a feel of the place. He was telling us about spirit guardians and elementals, etc etc. I used to be so skeptical about these things but then I realized there are really times when I just cannot for the life of me explain how something happened, why the hairs on the back of my neck are suddenly standing and why I sense sudden changes in energy in a certain room, or even the mere feeling that there is somebody watching me when, really, it was just me alone in the room...I suppose it opened me up to the idea that not everything can be explained by plain logic. Hehe

Anyway. I feel so rejuvenated. Last weekend really helped replenish the energy I lost the past couple of weeks. I feel inspired again. Motivated. The week is off to a great start. :) And to think I was thinking of staying in at home for the weekend. Thanks Pinks...for talking my stubborn ass into going! hahaha :D

LEAP 36 is starting in two weeks! I'm making the most out of what's left of my free time because after the last weekend of April, my schedule will start becoming impossible again! haha But I'm really excited! I can't wait until I start coaching. Pre-coaching has already left me feeling satisfied. I really feel I am beginning to make a difference and it is just the most rewarding feeling ever. :)

Accept fear and forge ahead in spite of it.

2008-04-10T15:49:00.000+08:00

When we deny the fear inside, we keep it lurking there. It remains in our minds, quietly holding us back from reaching new goals or fully experiencing new opportunities.

Accept your fear - there’s nothing shameful in it. Next time you shy away from a situation, stop and say to yourself, “I’m scared, but I’m still going to do it.”

As you acknowledge your feelings and keep going forward in spite of them, your self-worth and self-confidence will rise. The adrenaline from fear will change to the excitement of anticipation. Suddenly, you’ll realize the emotion you’re feeling has turned into sheer enthusiasm!

-Email from Cris :)

Ah, summer :)

2008-04-09T16:03:00.007+08:00

I miss the beach.

Walking barefoot in the sand.

Seeing the sun set across the horizon.

Boat rides.

Making my mark. Complete with footprints. Haha.

EATING ICE-COLD TREATS!!!

Damn you sore throat. GO THE HELL AWAAAAY!!!!!!!!!

Hehe. This is actually an angry post.

Friggin heat. I practically melted on my way to work. The bus ride was a nightmare. I was sandwiched between two sweaty guys. Huhu. Price you pay for not buying your own car. I want a banana smoothie!

And when at last I find you, your song will fill the air :)

2008-04-09T15:21:00.003+08:00

I have this funny feeling in my tummy.

This summer, I'm finding love. Wahahaha I know major cheese.

I think it's all The Beatles' fault. I've been listening to "I will" repeatedly. It's driving me nuts! hahaha

But speaking of relationship matters, I found closure. Rather, closure found me.

I'm really happy about it. :)

A world that works with no one left out

2008-04-04T14:37:00.007+08:00

I haven't been writing here much :)

There has been too much clutter in my head. Events happening every now and again--I'm out almost every day of the week, caught up in work and all my Leap-related activities. I'm not saying it's bad because I thoroughly enjoy what I am doing right now. I suppose you could say I just forgot to take a breather.

Anyway, I guess that's what prompted the lack of new blog entries. I put so much energy into my activities that I have none left to write about them. I guess I just needed to slow down. Which is what I'm doing right now. I'm supposed to go to a surprise birthday party for my friend Ali but I'm staying home to rest. I need to re-energize.

I'll definitely update more frequently in the weeks to come. I want every moment of the next couple of months to be documented here. It's going to be an interesting summer. :)

The Leap 36 Orientation was last Tuesday and I hosted the event with TJ! Hahaha tang ina that was a first for me! Before Leap, I never would've ventured into hosting. Wahaha

We already have around 20+ students enrolled and I've started to pre-coach some of them. It has been really overwhelming. I just can't put into words the exact emotion I am feeling every time I say something that would cause that sudden change of expression in I and B. As in you know you just managed to ignite something in them--a spark of hope, a sudden burst of clarity, a sense of purpose perhaps? Basta ang galing!!! :)

If anyone is interested in taking the leadership workshop I am talking about, we have a scheduled Foundations of Leadership Excellence (FLEX) Workshop this coming weekend, April 5 to 7. It'll be a small group this weekend so this will definitely enable you to really make the most out of the weekend that is devoted to your personal growth :)

Venue is at the 5th floor of Emerald Building, Emerald Avenue, Ortigas Center, Pasig City. The workshop will start at 9am. :)

Damage is P6,000 but you may re-audit the seminar whenever you want. And I guarantee you won't regret shelling out money once you've taken these workshops. They are life-changing, I tell you. I can vouch for it. :) FLEX is the first part of a Leadership Trilogy Program conducted by the Organizational Change Consultants International (OCCI). To learn more about OCCI and their vision (see my entry title), click here.

Hope to see some of you tomorrow!

I love it. :)

2008-04-03T19:36:00.001+08:00

Carry yourself in such a way that when people are sitting, you would be standing;
And when they are standing, you will stand out;
And when they stand out, you will be outstanding;
And when they dare to be outstanding, you will be their standard.

:)

2008-03-31T14:51:00.000+08:00

You Are Pocahontas!

Free-spirited and wise. You have a strong passionate spirit that touches and changes all who know you. The wisdom and common sense that you have is really what guides you through life. Even so, you also have a very playful side that loves adventure and excitement.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

I sing the body electric

2008-03-31T12:02:00.001+08:00

I sing the body electric
I celebrate the me yet to come
I toast to my own reunion
When I become one with the sun

And I'll look back on Venus
I'll look back on Mars
And I'll burn with the fire of ten million stars
And in time
And in time
We will all be stars

I sing the body electric
I glory in the glow of rebirth
Creating my own tomorrow
When I shall embody the earth

And I'll serenade Venus
I'll serenade Mars
And I'll burn with the fire of ten million stars
And in time
And in time
We will all be stars

We are the emperors now
And we are the czars
And in time
And in time
We will all be stars

---

Anybody have a copy of the FAME Soundtrack?

Daily dose of witty humor

2008-03-27T10:20:00.000+08:00

This article cracked me up. By one of my fave writers in The New Yorker.

How I Want To Be Remembered
By Jack Handey
The New Yorker - Shouts & Murmurs

We are gathered here, way far in the future, for the funeral of Jack Handey, the world’s oldest man. He died suddenly in bed, according to his wife, Miss France.

No one is really sure how old Jack was, but some think he may have been born as long ago as the twentieth century. He passed away after a long, courageous battle with honky-tonkin’ and alley-cattin’.

Even though Jack was incredibly old, he was amazingly healthy right up to the end. He attributed this to performing his funny cowboy dance for friends, relatives, and people waiting for buses. All agreed it was the most hilarious thing they had ever seen, and not at all stupid or annoying.

Jack’s death has thrown the whole world into mourning, and not in a fakey, sarcastic way. He was admired by people of all ages and stripes, and by all animals, including zebras. Even monsters liked him. He had his playful side and his serious side, but ninety-nine per cent of the time he had his “normal” side.

He started out life as a baby but worked his way up to an adult. But even when he was a full-grown adult he never forgot that he was a baby. His philosophy of life was a simple one. “I’m-a no look-a for trouble, because-a trouble, she’s-a no good,” he would often say, in his beloved fake Italian accent. He was quick with a laugh, but just as quick to point at what he was laughing at. Children loved him, but not in the way his teen-age niece claimed. He was always thinking of ways of helping people, and was wondering how he might do some of those things when he died.

Jack was an expert in so many fields, it’s hard to say what he was best at: the arts, the sciences, or the businesses. If you talked to him at a party, you couldn’t tell; he seemed to know it all. He has been compared to Captain James Cook, and not just because he was severely beaten by some Hawaiians, and to General Dwight D. Eisenhower, and not just because he liked to be driven around in a jeep.

As hard as it is to believe, he never sold a single painting during his lifetime, or even painted one. Some of the greatest advances in architecture, medicine, and theatre were not opposed by him, and he did little to sabotage them.

Although he lived in Paris, in a mansion famous for its many trapdoors, he was always proud to be an American. However, he was ashamed to be an earthling.

He was fabulously wealthy, but he would pretend to be broke, and often tried to borrow cigarettes and money from people. Little did they know that those who gave him stuff would later be rewarded in his will, with jewels and antigravity helmets. Women who refused to have sex with him are probably wishing that they could turn back the clock and say yes.

Generous even with his organs, he has asked that his eyes be donated to a blind person. Also his glasses. His skeleton, equipped with a spring that will suddenly propel it to a full standing position, will be used to educate kindergartners.

He has asked that no shrines be built to him. But he pointed out that this did not mean he didn’t like Shriners. According to our scientists, with their electronic soul trackers, Jack is in Heaven now. And not just regular Heaven, which any jerk can get into, but special secret Heaven, which even some angels don’t know about.

So let us celebrate his death, and not mourn. However, those who appear to be a little too happy will be asked to leave.

Perhaps the greatest tragedy is that a lot of the things Jack said and did seemed wrong at the time, but now we realize it wasn’t him; it was we who were wrong. Let us hope we don’t make the same mistake with his clones.

In closing, it is unfortunate that Jack’s friend Don could not be here. However, Don died many years ago, from a horrible fungus.

And now robot Elton John will sing “Candle in the Wind.”

Hilarious

2008-03-26T22:13:00.003+08:00

Ah, Facebook. I had a good laugh after seeing this. Hahaha.

Anyway, speaking of Facebook. I am addicted to this application called Mob Wars. It appeals to my inner, er, godfather.

This is obviously a useless post so I will just end it now.

Oooh, I am starting my pre coaching this week. This is going to be an interesting summer.

And, yes, my boss is still afraid of me. Wahaha. If he gets to read this, well...BOO.

Good night everyone!

Bring it

2008-03-24T12:40:00.003+08:00

Managed to remain unscathed during Holy Week. Hehe

Spent it mostly in solitude and watching DVDs with my family. I didn’t realize I was so close to burning out until I heaved my first few sighs of relief last Wednesday at the thought of finally, finally taking the time out from my busy schedule. God I loved every friggin minute of doing absolutely nothing. It wasn't idle time because I was spending it replenishing the energy I spent meeting one deadline after another. Haha whew!!!

It was also the perfect time to reflect about the things that will be happening to me in the coming months. Leap 35 is ending this weekend. Leap 36 is beginning. I just submitted my goals and action plans via email a couple minutes ago and it wasn’t until I plotted my milestones into my April to June calendar that I realized the enormity of it all. Oh my frickin G. As in wow I’m really doing this!!! Who would have thought that I, Miss I-couldn't-care-less-about-you, would end up being a life coach? Hahaha life, indeed, is unpredictable!

Everything I’ll be doing for Leap 36 is a commitment to something that is almost always out of my control. Something bigger than what I am able to comprehend. My personal goal–-painting 8 paintings (4 of which have a minimum size requirements) and submitting two entries to two nationwide painting competitions is a major, MAJOR stretch AND breakthrough. In fact, all my goals have a lot to do with breakthroughs! I'm writing my first book this year as well! Career 'to! This is going to be one interesting summer! I can’t wait to start but at the same time I want to prolong the wait a bit. Waha nah...we already have a number of students enrolled and paid. Haha bring it!

What’s good about this is whole thing, though, is that I’m starting it on a clean slate. Free of emotional baggage. And I can honestly and proudly say that my life is really working right now. Career, relationships…my love life, well, there are no prospects at the moment but I’m in a good space. As in a really good space. I’m over my last quasi-relationship. I love love love it. I realized it this weekend. It doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’ve accepted the fact that, yes, there will still be times when I will be affected by what he does (we have a history, after all) but I am no longer hanging on to the possibility of being with him. Because I know I’m meant for someone who will treat me better. Not that he treated me badly but I know he just isn’t the guy for me because he would never be able to give me what it is I truly deserve--the world, basically. Wahaha! He was just a preview of The Man in my life. And I bet my new lovely black patent leather shoes that that man will be drop-dead gorgeous and will be crazy about me. Wahaha.

I can’t wait—actually I don’t have to wait! Life is already happening now. I’m proud to say that I AM living my life to the fullest the best way I can. Cheesy but I’m just really happy. :)

And I know in the months to come, I’ll only be happier. :) Heehee. C'est la vie!

I'm just as strange as you

2008-03-20T13:04:00.003+08:00

We are all really not that different.

Have a meaningful Holy Week everyone. :)

Hiatus

2008-03-18T11:31:00.002+08:00

I haven't been posting here lately. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. On one hand, I get to focus more on work and my deadlines. On the other hand, I might be having writer's block. I haven't been doing Artist's Way. And I think I know why.

I am in denial.

Ayun lang. I don't feel like elaborating.

My Album Cover

2008-03-12T16:58:00.002+08:00

MY ALBUM COVER
Instructions:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover
You then take the pic and add your band name and the album title to it, then post your pic.

Voila:

We were in the same room...

2008-03-10T09:58:00.003+08:00

And he took his shirt off! Ack!!!

I'm still reeling from last night's Incubus fix. I didn't plan on watching the concert but my cousin happened to have an extra ticket so I figured what the heck. It was quite the dilemma choosing between giving up idle time at home and finally seeing Incubus play live. haha

We didn't have the best seat in the house but it was definitely worth the trouble going all the way from Paranaque to Araneta.

Great song selection! They only played for an hour and a half but most of my favorite songs were there: Stellar, Nice to Know You, Drive, Wish You Were Here, Megalomaniac, Talk Shows On Mute...I was hoping they'd play Anti-Gravity but they didn't.

What killed me was their final song...Aqueous Transmission. It's one of my ultimate favorite Incubus songs and I totally did not expect they'd play it last night but they did!!! I nearly died. Haha :)

I hope they come back soon. And have a longer set because I felt bitin last night! And I want a closer seat. hehe

Another band I am praying, hoping and wishing would come to Pinas on concert? The Red Hot Chili Peppers. I would gladly sell my soul for a front row ticket and a backstage pass. *faints*

The Alpha Male

2008-03-07T15:13:00.003+08:00

Alpha male
FORTyFIED By Cecile Lopez Lilles
The Philippine Star
Wednesday, March 5, 2008

They are self-confident, commanding, competitive, opinionated, ambitious and goal-oriented. They are often brilliant, tire-less and intense.

They are alpha males.

But they also possess sometimes that very rare quality — restraint — that tempers all the other characteristics, which, when unbridled, could mark them as garden-variety tyrants and ogres.

In the power hierarchy of human society, two other roles are defined and follow the alpha male. The beta male is the contender, subservient to the alpha male. The beta male acts as second-in-command and is sometimes a dethroned alpha male or can be a possible future alpha if he persists in challenging the reigning top dog. Beta males have good communication skills and are sensitive to others. They tend to downplay their strengths in order to showcase the strengths of others, which make them well-liked. This is the reason the alpha male’s position is constantly under threat. It is something that he must, at all times, labor to protect and preserve. The omega male is used in a derogatory or self-deprecating manner to refer to men at the bottom of the social hierarchy. An omega male is subservient to both alpha and males.

The term alpha male can mean different things in human societies. In the workplace they are the leaders. According to Dr. Kate Ludeman and Dr. Eddie Erlandson in their book, The Alpha Male Syndrome, alpha males tend to fall into one of four types:

Commanders. Intense, charismatic leaders who set the tone, mobilize the troops and infuse an organization with energy without necessarily getting into details. (They cite George Bush and Donald Trump as examples.)

Visionaries. Curious, expansive, intuitive, proactive and future-oriented, they see possibilities and opportunities that others either miss or dismiss as impractical. And they inspire others with their vision. (They cite Tony Blair and Bill Gates and Michael Dell as examples.)

Strategists. Methodical, systematic, often brilliant thinkers who rely more on data and facts. Strategists have superior analytic judgment and a sharp eye for patterns and problems. (They list Henry Kissinger, and Boston Red Sox president Larry Lucchino as typical strategists.)

Executors. Tireless, goal-oriented doers who push plans forward with an eye for detail, relentless discipline and keen oversight, surmounting all obstacles and holding everyone accountable for their commitments. (Examples include Dell’s CEO Kevin B. Rollins and Gordon Brown — successor to Tony Blair as UK Prime Minister.)

The alpha male concept endures because humans, both male and female, respond positively to leadership and the best combination of traits in a leader is alpha assertiveness and willpower combined with a softer, more sensitive and more compromising manner in dealing with others.

In adult social settings the term alpha male can mean other things. It can refer to men who are very much at ease with women. They essentially date and marry the women of their choice. It is in this sense that the alpha male is often good looking, physically well-built and possessing a relatively high economic status. He is judged by his male peers not so much for his aggression and ascendancy (as in the animal world), but by his ability to get the most attractive women as mates, which is the primary reason for alpha behavior in animals.

In school settings the concept of the alpha male translates to the cutest guy, who is usually a “jock,” muscle-bound and extremely athletic and competitive, while the betas are those who are less self-assured around girls and participate less in “macho” activities such as full-contact sports. The guys who join math teams or play chess at lunch are usually the beta males and may be thought of as initially less attractive by girls. It should be noted, however, that “nerds” (and here the term is used fondly and affectionately) are becoming increasingly popular because, as long-term boyfriends, they are often thought to be nicer and more respectful toward the fairer sex.

How can one tell that he is in the presence of an alpha male? Very easily: he feels it! It is an unquestionably powerful vibe, something that the alpha male instantly transmits to those around him. If you have ever come within a good distance of a lion, it is that very same raw, animal magnetism that overrides any other impression and that which indiscriminately elicits awe from the beholder. This is one of the reasons why dictators, cult leaders, harem kings — all-powerful men — have their subjects eating out of the palms of their hands.

At parties and similar social events alpha males are readily recognized because they have absolutely no need to dominate a room. They exude charisma, which effortlessly reels in anyone who comes within several feet of them. In contrast, there are those, usually the omega males, who put on a dog and pony show just to get noticed. Herein we may find men with a Napoleon complex: they are often vertically challenged and therefore feel compelled to resort to various measures to call attention to themselves. Short men literally disappear in crowds, so they must compensate by speaking relentlessly in loud, booming voices. This is why the regular male loudmouth is a terrible turn-off. It is because women have caught on to him: he is obviously compensating for a lack of something vital.

Short men are essentially omega men so they latch on to alpha males assuming the role of sidekick or wingman. The alpha male catches the prey and the wingman provides the entertainment. Those males somewhat lacking in the looks department often take on the persona of a clown, cracking jokes left and right to provide entertainment until they successfully reel in their very own audience. They must be resourceful in order to be noticed.

In a recent Hollywood film, American Gangster, Denzel Washington’s character, Frank Lucas, says it all: “The noisiest man in the room is the weakest man in the room.” This sums up the idea behind the inherent dominance of the alpha male. They are self-aware; they realize the power of their charisma and their talents. They know they are clear winners in the genetic lottery, be it in looks or smarts. And yet they are also hyper-aware of the areas in which they fall short but which they have come to terms with. In other words, they have attained full mastery of the self so that they give off a distinct aura of calm — something completely irresistible to any human being. Alpha males know what they are and what they are not and they live their lives accordingly. It is this form of enlightenment that elevates them above the rest of the pack.

In my forty-something years I have met many alpha males. But the three most memorable encounters were with three popular personalities: Hollywood great Al Pacino; ex-President Fidel Ramos; and basketballer Jojo Lastimosa. Each had a commanding presence and meeting them could weaken the knees and numb the brain. Don’t ask me why, because I really can’t put my finger on it. None of them are exceptionally good looking; but maybe millions of electronically charged particles float around their personal space, ionizing whomever they come in contact with. It is indeed uncanny that five other random women to whom I have spoken report of the same out-of-body experience when they came face-to-face with Jojo Lastimosa; it’s something about his bearing, his self-effacing nature, but then it could be that he was just born with 40,000 excess tons of testosterone that draws women in like a mega-powered magnet. I really don’t know.

Given that meeting Al Pacino may be too much trouble and that the chances of bumping into Fidel Ramos here, especially with his coterie of bodyguards, one’s best bet at having a religious experience with an alpha male is to come face-to-face with Jojo Lastimosa. Don’t know where to find him? Ask a sports fanatic. He’ll know where to hunt him down!

You know you're over someone when...

2008-03-06T12:36:00.002+08:00

...you listen to the songs that made you *cringes* cry before and you just laugh at how melodramatic you were a few months ago. Haha.

...you're not terrified by the thought of going alone to a place you know he will be in.

...you chat with him amicably and harbor neither hope nor resentment.

...you're your own person again. Happy in the company you keep when you are alone.

Yey! :D

Meme time

2008-03-04T14:26:00.003+08:00

1. Today I feel very---sleepy, which is why I am answering this meme. To keep me awake! I need another crush fix!

2. I enjoy---spontaneous trips to undiscovered places! You find yourself pleasantly surprised by spectacular views like this one:

3. I am unhappy when---I suddenly find I don't know myself anymore.

4. I feel good when---I make an impact in people's lives.

5. I wish my boss---would go to the beach! Bwahaha he saw me blogging about my Zambales trip yesterday and he said he didn't really relish going to the beach that much because sand always gets in his hair! Hahahaha my officemates and I doubled over with laughter! Who gets sand in his hair? Uh, aim for the water! LOL

6. My officemates think---Thank God for that! haha joke. They probably think I'm distracted all the time. Which is partly true. Especially when I am within the vicinity of elevators. :P

7. My work area is---in disarray! My calendar (with all its encircled dates and comments) is facing the right wall of my "cubicle," my mouse pad is my yellow sheet pad paper, I have 2 empty bottles of Absolute mineral water (not Vodka), unopened packets of Splenda and Brown Sugar strewn across the desk, a Body Shop foot spray concealed behind my computer's speakers, my Van Gogh planner open to the wrong date, and an inch thick of paper napkins I hoarded from Starbucks in my drawer. It's a good thing we're transferring to a different floor. I can redecorate!

8. I enjoy reading about---the lives of musicians and artists, historical fiction, fantasies and the occasional philosophical read!

9. I like myself best when---I am being creative, spontaneous and when I leave my mark in people's lives. And I also like myself best when I let my inner crazy take hold--fun fun! haha

10. If I had a choice I would---drop what I'm doing right now and hop onto the next flight to Bangkok (I don't know why but I feel I just HAVE to be there this year) and go continent-hopping from there.

11. I wish---I had my own loft studio and just paint for a living!

12. Tomorrow I would like to---meet Crush!!! hahaha

A Night of Mischief and Bruised Egos

2008-03-04T09:19:00.003+08:00

I figured since Feb 29 comes only once every four years, the night was ripe for doing something really reckless, ridiculous and crazy.

So I gathered up the old gang at Metrowalk ('twas our 5th monthly get together) and came up with an activity that would unleash our inner psychos and, well, knock that old ego down a bit. We all tend to worry about looking good all the time that I felt it was the perfect time to rustle up everybody's composure even for a night!

We met up at Dencio's for dinner, paired up randomnly and went off to do the following dares together:

---With a hand raised high up in the air, shout "DARNA!!!" in the middle of the Metrowalk Quadrangle. (Me, Karen and Earl)
---Walk up to at least 5 strangers of the opposite sex, say "Don't" in your saddest, most forlorn face, and just walk away. (Tricia G!)
---Guy pair will each sing harana to 2 beautiful girls. (Zeph and Terry)
---Converse with someone in a lively and excited manner by pretending he/she knows the stranger completely and insist familiarity for 5 mins. (Mark and Bea)
---Pick up a stranger by convincing that person to give his or her number...using a British accent! (Pinky and Richie)
---Kiss a stranger (Nobody got this! Darn! haha)
---Have someone sign his/her name on your chest (Disen!!!)
---Look for a couple around the area, ask what "their song" is and serenade them (Cris and Mic)
---And last but definitely not the least, performed by none other than Wesley Pristin, Tracey Santiago and Tracey's bag, fight in front of a crowd to the point of causing one hell of a scene! "Tarantado kang bakla ka!!!" Stellar performance guys! I wish I caught it on video! :)

It was such a blast because everybody went along with the dares even though they bordered on the ridiculous! And was it just me or was Metrowalk even more crowded than usual that night?? Haha it took me around an hour to convince them to just do it (there were colorful words thrown at me every now and then) but everybody stepped up!

I just don't think a lot of us will be visiting Metrowalk anytime soon. hahaha :)

Idle

2008-02-28T14:54:00.001+08:00

I need to practice yoga again. Or at the very least, engage in some form of exercise.

And avoid eating heavy lunches.

I'm so sleepy. Ack.

Elevators

2008-02-27T08:54:00.002+08:00

Really. What is it with him, me and elevators? Hahaha.

Great day ahead! :D

Deadline for a sideline this afternoon--I'm way behind but I'll deliver. Research needed for an EB article I'm supposed to submit tomorrow. Shop for a Turquoise blouse later at Rockwell or Glorietta for this weekend's event. Write article the whole night. Lunch meeting with Don and Dax, will probably last two hours so I'm cutting my breakfast break short! Waaah. Where is Leah??

And tomorrow's first coaches training session--will probably last all night. Then again, how would I know? I've never attended one. LOL

Talked with C yesterday. I'm really glad we paired up. This is going to be an awesome summer! :)

The heat, though, I find unbearable. Especially when I have to wear something layered for work--aircon in the office is subzero. Freezing. Brrr.

Alright, have had my daily blog fix. Work work work! :)

Karma is a reclining bus seat

2008-02-26T11:26:00.004+08:00

Last weekend was a blast. I had fun lolling around in Zambales with my brunas. It was an adventure, straight out of a Mexican flick. Well, the mini non-airconditioned bus-ride we took to Candelaria anyway (we had to transfer buses). The scenery outside was reminiscent of that bus ride Ugly Betty took during her trip to Mexico with Hilda. As in I half expected chickens to start running across the aisle chasing fruits that fell out of the crate of some fruit vendor. Wehehe and the bus had wooden seats! And my seat happened to be right above the bus' engine. I felt my flipflops struggling not to melt.

Anyway, will blog about it as soon as I upload the photos. In the meantime, check out my travel blog, Moo With Me. Yes shameless plug. I wrote about Siquijor. :D

---

Proof karma exists:

We transferred buses in Olongapo City to get to Pasay. There was a slightly long queue at the ticket booth and my friends and I were chatting animatedly about something. We went to stand behind the person we thought came before us--we were mistaken because apparently the line was not really a line. It took a curve right behind that person.

We were not aware of this until this really horrible woman wearing a large gold tacky headband and an even larger brown hair clamp announced rather loudly, "Hoy Miss, dito ang pila."

She could've been nicer. It wasn't like we cut in line intentionally, we were just not aware about it. She did not have to be rude nor did she have to raise her overplucked eyebrows and roll her red, bloodshot eyes at us! Hmmm...maybe she was just tired. Haha anyway, we just said 'ok' and fell in line behind her. She was really seething, which was amusing. Wonder what was eating her?? LOL

So there I was thinking I wouldn't be seeing her again anytime soon. But the moment I stepped onto the bus and located seat number 26, lo and behold, who would be sitting in seat 27 but Gold Headband Brown Clamp Lady!

I had to pass through her and I swear it wasn't intentional (it wasn't! it wasn't!) but my bag hit her face! I mumbled my apologies (hey it wasn't that hard, wag siyang mag-inarte!) and went to take my seat beside her thinking all the while that *slightly evil laugh here* karma really existed!

Karma proved to be a bitch.

If getting hit on the face with a bag wasn't bad enough, Gold Headband Brown Clamp Lady placed her drink on the pouch behind the seat in front of her and was in the middle of adjusting its cap (it was a large treat she bought for herself from McDonalds waha) when suddenly, the man in front of her fully reclined his seat!

Out poured half the amount of her large Coca Cola drink onto her faded blue jeans!

The expression her face took was a classic. As in, WTF?!

I had to look directly out the window, find something remotely interesting (anything!) to distract myself and keep me from bursting out into laughter. As in I think I nearly had a heart attack. The moment she stood up to go to the rest room, I laughed til my sides ached. I didn't even care that people were looking--some were laughing right along with me. Ah, schadenfreude! But it didn't last long, I had to stop. Maybe she was just having a bad day...haha

Anyway. There you have it folks. Proof karma DOES exist and will bite you in the ass. Or in her case, pour half your favorite soda onto your, well, it was probably her favorite pair of jeans.

So be NICE! :D

Serendipity?

2008-02-22T12:18:00.002+08:00

Why is it that when I find myself looking forward to going on holiday, I end up suddenly loaded with deadlines?

As planned, I'm going to Zambales this weekend to relax and bake under the sun with Au. As in I'm really psyched about it because I'm just loving the fact that my goal to hit as many places as possible this year is actually coming along well. Moving.

And then the deadlines show up. I have THREE.

Of all the days my sideline racket assigns another article (haven't heard from them in almost two weeks since the last submission), they have to do it today. As in I have five days to finish it. Article is due on Thursday.

And then I found myself taking on another project. A PR project for a shoe brand. It includes writing an article and doing press rounds (I asked Ai to do press rounds in my stead--we're splitting the fee) and the article is due on Wednesday. It was supposed to be Tuesday but I just had to beg off and ask for an extension. I don't come back from Zambales til Monday so it would really suck if I have an article to write the moment I get back from my trip. Welcome back bitch! Haha

Anyway, I have to at least have a rough draft of the PR article by tomorrow night. I'll fine tune it on Tuesday and submit on Wednesday. The Automated Testing Tool article, on the other hand, will have to wait until Wednesday night. But I need to at least print out background materials to take with me. Oh God, I'll be reading about regression tests at the beach! Huhu.

Oh well. I asked for this. I told myself at the beginning of the year that I want rackets. Multiple income streams. And now I have it. And they pay really good money--the PR racket, for one, will be paying me almost a whole month's salary's worth. I'll be damned if I don't do it! And the ATT article will give me a couple more thousand bucks worth. I'm actually earning really good money here!

Wow. I so did not realize that until today. What I asked for I am actually getting. Freaky...but good freaky. So I love it! hehehe

Back to work now. Have a great long weekend!

Ack!

2008-02-21T14:31:00.002+08:00

My sideline assigned another article.

This time, I'm even more clueless about the topic: Automated Testing Tool. Regression Testing.

What the...

Oh well, a new topic to learn. Hahaha. I'm still waiting for them to publish my first article on offshore development. I want to get my first paycheck already. Heh. :P

And I swear...I really REALLY have to start working on The Book. I want the final draft done by end of March!!! I'm thinking of making it my professional goal for Leap 36. Gawd I can't believe I'll be doing goal-setting again! And this time, that'll be on top of making sure my council achieve theirs! Winner! haha

Anyway, gotta get back to work. Have emails to write, contests to finalize, etc etc. I'm so busy!

Wanderlust and Looking Good

2008-02-21T13:22:00.002+08:00

I created a travel blog: Moo with me.

The url idea I got from Maureen's monologue in RENT. And I thought I'd give Wordpress a shot.

I went to get my feet pampered during my lunch break again. I don't know if having a salon in the ground floor of my building is a good or bad thing. Later at 6, I've set an appointment for a haircut and color treatment. The head stylist at Rever offered to give me the haircut for free if I go ahead with the color treatment. Their haircuts normally cost P615. The color treatment costs a little over a thousand but considering the fact that I'm getting a free cut, I figured what the heck. Why not?

I hope the woman doesn't end up murdering my hair. Else I'd be really mad. Magsasabunutan kami.

And I have a firm grip. Waha.

--

Ok. Why am I suddenly pampering myself? I want to be in a good space in time for my first coaches meeting tomorrow. I'll be meeting the rest of the coaches and I don't want to seem a wreck. I don't want to look frazzled. I want my look to reflect the state my life is in right now--put together.

I'm sick of looking like a watered down version of my fabulous self. Waha. So I'm going all out. Which is what I'll be doing when I coach anyway so it's about time it manifests in all aspects of my life.

Ergo, the sudden desire to look good is not a shallow whim. It's just me finally acknowledging how effin' great I can be. Capisce?

Hehe

Oops, I did it again

2008-02-20T14:38:00.004+08:00

It seems I have a knack for making a fool of myself when I'm around Crush.

There was this time when I was talking loudly about him with my officemate by the elevator when suddenly, while I was at my talking peak, he got out. My face literally froze mid-laugh. I don't know how I will ever describe the state my face was in when I met his eye. That was the first.

The second was the OMG incident. I blogged about it recently.

And now I have another one to add to the list.

It happened by the elevator again. Side note: What is it with him, me and elevators? *evil grin*

This time, we were riding the same elevator. He was conversing with his officemates and I found his voice so distracting that on my way out, I got really disoriented. As in I turned to the right and started walking towards this office I did not even find familiar! It turns out the unfamiliar office was the law firm directly in front of Le Office.

I had already adapted this confident Project Runway walk that anyone stepping out of the elevator with me would think I knew where I was going. And I would've pulled it off had my officemate Leah not called my name, rather loudly I might add, causing me to stop mid-stride.

I looked like one of those cartoon characters that run into invisible walls. As in I froze. And ended up looking like the ultimate airhead--I had this totally puzzled idiot look plastered on my face.

As in, uh, duh. Huh?

Anyway to cover up my blunder, I just sashayed left a la Zoolander and went into my office while listening to Leah laughing at my expense. Hmph. Haha kidding! We had a good laugh over it after. It's a good thing I still have my sense of humor intact.

Consolation? At least he knows my name now! LOL

God, so high school!!!

--

On a more serious but equally exciting note, I've accepted Jovy's invite to join her coaching team last night! This is going to be one challenging but awesome summer! :) I'll be so busy I won't have time to sleep or think about Crush Blunders! Hahaha

This hits home

2008-02-20T10:06:00.004+08:00

Kainis!

Walk the talk

2008-02-18T17:18:00.004+08:00

Jovy, the upcoming Head Coach of Leap 36, just called to invite me to be part of her coaching team.

I have never been more terrified in my life. OH. MY. GOD.

I have til tomorrow to decide. But I more or less know what my answer will be.

And I know I'm going to come off all new-age and sh*t but check out my horoscope:

The extraordinary efforts of someone in your crew -- social circle, office clique, team, whatever -- are creating some incredible opportunities for you right now, and today is the day to take advantage of them! Put the routine matters of the day aside and put your name on the list of volunteers for a brave new experiment. You have to show that you're eager to get involved in order for anyone to involve you. Be sure to show gratitude to the person who enabled all of this to happen.

Oh dear.

I'm really doing this, aren't I? I've been resisting it for the longest time. As in the number of times M addressed me as 'future coach,' I just laughed it off. Because I am just really terrified. Scared of failure. But even more scared of the possibility of doing a spectacular job. In a way, I've always sabotaged my success because I could never accept the possibility that I could actually be something GREAT. I could actually make a difference.

But now...shit this is really IT.

I was planning to go MIA in OCCI but I guess something is telling me to stop with all the escaping and the running away. It's time I face up.

And the next LEAP's theme? Walk the Talk.

*bleep*

If that isn't a sign, I don't know what is.

Now that I think about it, I really feel that finally, life is actually working for me. After I had slain that particular "dragon," I've never felt more empowered. And then everything started falling into place. I suddenly have tons of writing rackets, I'm really loving work (as in really loving it), I've moved on from my last pseudo-relationship, I've reunited with long lost friends (yes Celeste, ikaw yun), and I am just really loving the space I am in right now. I know, I know. I sound like the biggest optimist ever but really, I'm just stating facts.

Life is good. :)

Crush blooper

2008-02-18T12:11:00.002+08:00

I haven’t seen my office building crush ever since I got back from Dumaguete.

Since then, I have formulated countless of theories explaining his absence. He resigned. He was shipped off to a remote location to handle training for a new division of his company. He was mugged the day I left and had no money to go to work so he had to beg for an entire week in some remote Quiapo backstreet while recovering from the wretched beating he was subjected to. He was kidnapped by mysterious alien life forms. Bad timing–>he went to Dumaguete the day after I left and he sat on the same seat I did on the plane, ate in the same restaurant I ate, walked along the Boulevard the exact same time but only a day after my departure... LOL The last one’s my favorite. It screams “B MOVIE!!!”

I have a hundred more. Buzz me if you’re interested in hearing the crazier ones.

So anyway. I finally saw him again today. And I looked like a total schmuck. I was just so shocked when I saw him (I honestly thought I would never see him again) that I ended up blurting (rather loudly, I might add) “Oh My God.”

And let me emphasize the fact that each syllable was properly enunciated that even a person fifty feet away from me would figure out exactly what I had just said. Crush was around 15 feet away. I was looking directly at him. Our eyes met. I turned and frantically signaled to Leah that he was there and the next thing I knew when I turned to look again, he was gone. Probably scared off by his psycho stalker. Hahaha this reeks so much of high school. Well, high schoolish flirtations are all about I can handle now so it’s all good! hehe

Crush was looking scruffier than usual–he looked like he didn’t shave for an entire week. He looked hawt. Leche. Why is it when girls do their own version of not shaving (say, not shampooing our hair), it does not have the same desired effect as that of men not shaving? Some of them, the ones like Crush anyway, look even hotter unshaved. They should be looking gross and unclean but they end up looking sexy and “rugged.”

When girls don’t shampoo even for a day, they look greasy. LOL Imagine if girls do not even bother shaving their, say, underarm hair. Ewww. If I were a guy, I’d be running towards the opposite direction.

Not the same effect as men’s ruggedness, that’s for sure. Then again, tell a girl she looks rugged or scruffy and, I don’t know, you just might end up getting bitch-slapped.

This week's reminiscent of college hell-weeks. We're finally launching! Yey! :D

Juno

2008-02-16T22:40:00.003+08:00

An offbeat comedy about a pregnant teenage girl's decision to put up her baby for adoption.

So far the best movie I've seen this year.

Lines that killed:

Juno MacGuff: My dad had this weird obsession with Roman or Greek mythology or something and he decided to name me after Zeus' wife.
Mark Loring: Zeus' wife?
Juno MacGuff: Yeah and I mean Zeus had tons of ladys but I'm pretty sure Juno was his main girl. And apparently she was supposed to be super beautiful but really mean, kind of like Diana Ross.

Juno MacGuff: Dad, it's not about that. I just need to know if it's possible for two people to stay happy together forever, or at least for a few years.
Mac MacGuff: It's not easy, that's for sure. Now, I may not have the best track record in the world, but I have been with your stepmother for 10 years now and I'm proud to say that we're very happy. In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

Juno MacGuff: Ick! I don't want to give my baby to a couple who describes themselves as "wholesome." I was looking for, maybe, a thirty-something graphic designer with a cool Asian girlfriend who kicks ass on the bass guitar, but I don't know, I don't wanna get too particular.

Juno MacGuff: Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day. And I'm like, "Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment."

I loved Juno's Dad. He was this really funny character and he was just really supportive of his "June Bug's" situation. There was this particular scene in the movie, it was just after Juno delivered her baby and her dad was touching her hair. He said something along the lines of "The next time you're here Juno, it'll be on your own terms."

Made me cry like a baby. I suddenly miss my dad.

Christian guilt

2008-02-15T14:27:00.005+08:00

I totally forgot about Lent. And Fasting.

Just this morning, I had a hot dog breakfast meal in Jollibee. A few hours later, I ordered the Sweet & Sour Pork Lauriat in Chow King. It wasn't until I read Chuvaness' blog about Lenten Sacrifice that I realized it was a Friday. And I totally broke the no-meat rule.

Not that I honestly follow these things.

But nonetheless, I'm feeling the old Christian guilt creep up on me so I've decided to sacrifice something really difficult.

The verdict?

Waaaah. :"(

I'm saying goodbye to Starbucks Coffee until the end of the Lenten season. So that's a little over a month.

I should have ordered that Tall Nonfat Caramel Macchiato with extra Caramel syrup earlier today.

---

I just finished meeting with our CEO. I swear the man has the uncanny ability to make the hair on your neck stand on end. And I mean that in a good way. It's really different from talking to my immediate boss. The difference? It's the passion. CEO has put a huge chunk of his fortune on this service and he really really believes in it. As do I. But I believe in it even more every time I hear him talk about it. It's just contagious, his enthusiasm.

Monday will be Day 1 of our launch. OMG I'm really excited. Waaaaah. This is going to be spectacular. :D

The Fourth Treasure by Todd Shimoda

2008-02-15T10:28:00.005+08:00

The art of Japanese Calligraphy has always fascinated me. It's amazing how fluid, flowing brush-drawn characters can adapt different meanings even only with the slightest changes in texture or stroke. Staring at the characters written on paper, it evokes such simplicity that one tends to overlook the fact that it took quite the amount of effort to achieve that serene, sublime end result.

Looking at works of calligraphy have always calmed me and I couldn't really explain why. Until I chanced upon The Fourth Treasure, a book by Todd Shimoda. It has been lying around my house for around two years and had I known it was going to be an enchanting read, I would've finished it a long time ago. Hehe

Anyway, it tells us of a love story that spans three generations, cultures and traditions. It starts in present day San Francisco when Kiichi Shimano, sensei of the Zenzen school of Calligraphy, suffers a massive stroke that renders him incapable of speech and writing. His calligraphy, although still pleasing to the eyes, no longer makes any sense that even his best student, Gozen, cannot comprehend it.

The sensei's case then attracts the attention of Tina Suzuki, a neuroscience student from Berkeley, prompting her to research about the sensei's condition. This, however, is not well-received by her mother Hanako, who studied calligraphy under the sensei in Japan years ago and was actually involved in an affair with him then. Ah, serendipity... :)

Shimoda makes use of flashbacks all throughout the story, making it a captivating read. He jumps back and forth from present to past, when Shimano was still one of the most respected calligraphers in Kyoto and the head of the prestigious Daizen School.

He also enchants us with the history of the potent Daizen Inkstone, which Shimano secretly took with him when he followed Hanako all the way to San Francisco. It gives us insight on the history of Calligraphy, past Daizen masters, and how the Daizen Inkstone came about.

The book, with its captivating tale, is also laden with the sensei's beautifully illustrated Japanese calligraphy and factoids of Tina's studies of the brain. It makes for an unusually satisfying literary experience. :)

What ever happened to old school love letters?

2008-02-14T15:57:00.003+08:00

I want to get a copy of this book. Wonder if they have it in any of the bookstores in Manila.

I'm a sucker for love letters. I still keep the ones I've managed to receive in all my 24 years of existence. Yes, even the one I got from this boy in grade school who misspelled my name in two different ways: Trisha. Forgivable. Two sentences later, Trishia. Anuba!

I remember feeling kilig over it despite the fact that people misspelling my name has always been a pet peeve of mine. How difficult is it to spell TRICIA?!

Anyway, he was the class crush. I remember being hopelessly smitten. Today, I barely find him tolerable. I guess like wine, taste in men only comes better with age. Hahaha.

I know. I am evil. I love it.

Speaking of evil, I had a schadenfreude moment last night. Felt a sense of satisfaction over someone's misery. I know. Evel Knievel. Oh well, I'm only human.

Maybe I'll be in a kinder state tomorrow. Today I'm letting the inner biatch come out and play. >:)

Peace, love is all we need ;)

2008-02-14T08:57:00.005+08:00

I covered up half of the post but it says 'Love is all we need.' Haha!

Have a happy, lovely, lusty, cheesy, exhilarating, amazing, melancholy, expensive, giddy, sweet, bittersweet, busy, anti-climatic, heart-stopping, stomach-curdling, toe-curling, exciting, funny, hilarious, dramatic, extravagant, and -->insert desired adjective here<--Hearts Day everyone! :)

xoxo

The weekend of my 24th

2008-02-12T21:19:00.001+08:00

Choosing to spend my birthday in Dumaguete with Igor was clearly the best decision I made so far this year. As in I loved the place. It’s a university town--so teeming with culture and a lot of quaint and cozy haunts.

It’s also backpacker central so there were quite a few foreign eye candies–and a particularly scruffy-looking one in Siquijor reading a bestseller. He looked so engrossed in his reading that you wouldn’t want to do anything but grab his book, throw it to the side, and proceed to do things to him that will make YOU the focus of HIS attention! hahaha joke.

He reminded me a bit of Mikee Carrion, a model whom I’ve always had a huge crush on. Only he didn’t look like he spent hours achieving that Mess-with-me-and-you’re-dead look. It was all natural! LOL

Anyway, a couple of photos from my mini holiday.

Rizal Boulevard. Lovely during the day; an element of "danger" during the night. Ah, the drama!

Siquijor, The Mystic Island.

Where it's perfectly okay for people to converse with plants in public:

The Fag & Hag Travel Show: The Art of Camwhoring.

Dare I enter the convent?

I love this photo of Igor--you look like you just won a beauty pageant, lolah! Haha

The Leaning Tower of Dumaguete:

My white hospital, er, hotel room! hehehe

Hot Air Balloon Sightings @ Cafe Noriter:

El Tourista @ Siliman University.

I love this jacket. I feel like an investigative reporter about to uncover the story of the century. Heh.

Okay, another photo of Siquijor because I can't help it.

It's tres enchanting!

Finally, the beach in drag.

I love Mother Nature. >_<

More pics here-->click!

Sugar, spice and everything nice

2008-02-07T17:40:00.000+08:00

You Were Naughty This Year

You Were 70% Naughty, 30% Nice

You may not have been good this year...
But you sure had a really good time.
And nothing from Santa could top that!

Were You a Naughty Girl or Nice Girl this Year?

My Visual DNA

2008-02-07T15:15:00.000+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Little miss sunshine

2008-02-07T10:16:00.000+08:00

Every time I find myself waking up earlier than usual, it is often a prelude to a great day ahead.

Today I even managed to surprise myself--I was so not my normal lazy, sleep-greedy self. I did my morning pages and even spent a couple of minutes on my Yoga mat. Did a couple of breathing and stretching exercises. Also took my time in the shower. I didn't have to worry about keeping other people waiting because my relatives were still sleeping.

When I got off Buendia, I took my time walking. Enjoyed the cool, er, slightly polluted breeze. Listened to my playlist.

I loved it.

I could do this every day. Be a morning person. It beats having to rush through my morning because I'm already running late for work. :)

I'm finally going to Dumaguete tomorrow!!! Wheeee! I can't wait! Sweet escape! :D

The moment I see my office building crush, my day's complete already! LOL

Deadlines galore!

2008-02-05T10:22:00.000+08:00

Well I didn't want to be idle and I got my wish.

Days away from going on my Dumaguete birthday weekend (I'm visiting Igor), I'm bombarded by deadlines. Work's starting to become hectic because we're days away from the launch--I have tons of email templates to write (a no-brainer but they piled up because I was too lazy to do them weeks ago), finalize and update the mechanics of the contest, etc etc etc. And I need to finish all this by tomorrow.

Then I check my email today and find myself a new deadline--my sideline assigned my first article on Business Offshore Development (which I know nothing about, by the way) due on Saturday. This basically means that I NEED to finish this by Friday morning latest because my flight to Dumaguete leaves on Friday afternoon.

Kill me now. Haha. I love it though. It's weird but I miss stress. The atmosphere in the office is too relaxed, in my opinion, so I'm glad I took Writeshop's offer to do some freelance writing. And it'll be about topics that are new to me so that's a plus. I'm not the greatest fan of business writing but if it's a test of how flexible I can be as a writer, then I'm happy to do it. This year, I really want to hone my craft.

So about the article, I know I'll do a good job. I'm just psyching myself up--rather, pressuring myself enough to get me to start working.

So...off to work! Ciao folks!

Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel

2008-02-04T10:34:00.001+08:00

I've seen this book countless of times and have heard great reviews about it but I've never felt compelled to read it until recently. Almost immediately, I felt the bitter taste of regret at having waited so long. It was simply sublime. I fell in love with it the moment I finished reading the first chapter.

It tells the tale of Tita De La Garza, a young woman deprived of being with the man she loves because of some stupid tradition her mother has imposed upon her--being the youngest daughter in the family, she is doomed to a lifetime of caring for her tyrannical Mama Elena.

The story makes heavy use of magical realism. Tita, an exceptionally gifted cook, pours all her emotions into the dishes she prepares--her love, lust and longing for Pedro and her anger and frustrations toward her mother and sister and rigid family traditions--that every meal she prepares makes for an incredibly sensual experience.

Upon eating the cake she baked for Pedro and her sister Rosaura's wedding, all the guests promptly burst into tears. The Quail in Rose Petal sauce she prepared after a passionate encounter with Pedro promptly made her sister Gertrudis unleash all her inhibitions, eventually leading her into the arms of a revolutionary officer. It was an amazing read from start to finish. It inspired me to start reading again. Haha just what I needed to wake up from my rut!

The novel was made into film in 1993. I want to see it! I wonder if it's as good as the book. I doubt it, though. Movie adaptations always end up as half-baked versions of the original story. Based on the ones I've seen anyway.

Except the TV adaptation of Pride and Prejudice in the 90s starring Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy. I loved it. Way better than the recent movie starring Keira Knightley, which did nothing but annoy me.

Emotional buyer

2008-02-01T10:19:00.000+08:00

I am quite the emotional buyer. Especially when it comes to things I don't really need, things I buy on impulse.

A prime example: Notebooks. I am obsessed with them.

I have three to four journals I use on a whenever-I-feel-like-writing-on-you basis.

My current favorite is the one my sister got for me during her trip to the States--it has different colored blank pages, perfect for writing, doodling, ranting and the occasional impulse to sketch an object, person or scene I suddenly find fascinating. I love the cover--different colored passport stamps set against a black canvass binding.

It screams wanderlust. I love it. I write on it mostly when I'm in a happy mood so when reading it, you'd probably think I'm the most carefree person in the planet. The world is my oyster. I also call it my denial notebook.

The next one I bought a few years back in Fully Booked--not much to look at but I fell in love with the squared pages.

It reminds me of my grade school math notebooks, which contained more doodles than numbers, equations, fractions, etc etc. It also brings to mind one of my favorite movies of all time, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, the movie that actually prompted me to look for one in the first place. Jim Carrey was sketching Kate Winslet on the train and he was using a squared notebook.

I know. I am a sucker to commercialism.

Anyway. Moving on...

I love RED. It's probably my favorite color of all time, which is why I couldn't help but feel the need to buy this one:

I love the Chinese floral print--so elegant. I was still struggling (not really) to fill up the Eternal Sunshine squared journal when I happened to find this notebook during one of my visits to Fully Booked Rockwell. It was begging to be bought. Gullible emotional buyer that I am, I succumbed to temptation. I told myself I would only use it after I filled up Eternal Sunshine but the next day, I started writing there. Later, I started doing crazy things to it. Like this unused starbucks coupons collage:

After I made the mistake of doing a bit of oil painting on it, I kept it hidden on my drawer. The smell was...well, I couldn't take it. Pungent oil fumes mingled with perfume--a futile attempt on my part to cover up the smell of paint. I tore up some of the blank pages and used it for writing grocery lists, reminders and even an occasional note to some friends.

This next one's the oldest of the bunch. Wake up and smell the coffee.

I bought it in A Different Bookstore in Eastwood right before I went on my 2005 US vacation so it's mostly filled with accounts of my misadventures in the States, which is why I love it so much and can't bring myself to leave it in my "secret junk box" in Davao where I keep all my journals since grade school.

Finally, the latest purchase.

Ever since I started doing Artist's Way, I've been using this one for my daily morning pages. FYI, morning pages as defined in Artist's Way are three pages worth of longhand first streams-of-consciousness writing. It's the one I would probably kill to have back if ever I find myself losing it. Plenty of blackmailable material here. Well, not really. No accounts of me poisoning someone. But as it's an outlet of all the negative thoughts I've been carrying with me lately, it's nothing but melodramatic and will definitely embarrass me to the ends of the earth.

So there. Fin.

Ah wait, I want a moleskine notebook. The small squared classic notebook, one you can carry around with you in your pocket. Or in my case, my big black bag. Perfect for jotting down story ideas when I'm out wreaking havoc in Manila.

FRIENDS, malapit na birthday ko.

20 questions

2008-01-31T13:57:00.000+08:00

The rule: Remove 1 question from the list below, and add your own personal question to make it a total of 20 questions. Tag 8 people, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

1. At what age do/did you wish to marry?
30! I think I'd have had my share of accomplishments by then. And I'd have traveled the world and am ready to finally settle down...you think?

2. What color do you like most?
Violet. And Red.

3. If you can have a superpower, what would it be?
Shape shifting a la Mystique!

4. If you can travel anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?
I'd go island hopping in Greece, experience Turkish delight in Istanbul, dance the night away in Rio de Janeiro, bask under the glorious Parisian sun, and fall in love in Positano, Italy.

5. Which part of you that you hate the most?
Stretch marks!

6. When you get sad, what do you do?
Watch a romantic movie with the intention to cry my heart out, and eat something sweet and sinful right after. Fabulous!

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
People I love.

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do with the money?
Set some of it aside for investment. Treat my family to the ultimate ULTIMATE vacation. Live in New York for a year or two. Buy my own studio and paint to my heart's content. Write write write. Travel travel travel.

9. What do you love the most last year (2007)?
I really made the most out of it, that's for sure!

10. What is your New Year's resolution?
Travel more. Write more. Live a healthier lifestyle. No idle, wasted moments!

11. What is the moment you regret most?
Not pursuing what I really wanted in college! I chose to stick it out with the status quo. Oh well, making up for it now! :D

12. What type of person do you hate the most?
Wimps! People who don't go after what they want thinking it will come to them eventually. Good luck on that. In the meantime, try growing a backbone.

13. What is your greatest asset?
My rapier wit and irresistible charms. hahaha

14. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
Joy, happiness and adventure for me and the people I love ;)

15. Person you'd want to be stuck in a deserted island with?
Johnny Depp or Hugh Jackman in Wolverine getup. Rawr. haha

16. Name the one body part your hubby or boyfriend tells you he adores.
Hmmm. I have no boyfriend but I've been told I have a great ass. Wahaha. And I have nice eyes ;)

17. It's 2008. What are you looking forward to this year?
Book project with Trish and Karlo, French lessons with Tere, and an abundance of out-of-town trips with friends and family.

18. Anything in your life that you wish weren't so awful?
Hmmm. I guess I need to get my act together--enough with the procrastinating!

19. What's the shallowest thing you intend to do this year?
Sign up for Professional Makeup lessons!

20. And the most noble thing you plan to do?
Continue paying it forward. Life coaching, maybe.

TAGGING: Steffi, Celay, Mina, Leah, Papu, Ana, Igor, Banggigay

Cheers to tax refunds!

2008-01-30T15:26:00.001+08:00

Extra shopping money! LOL

Kidding. I'm saving it for the rainy days. Naks. :P

Ouch

2008-01-30T10:41:00.000+08:00

I recently read one of Butch Dalisay's blog entries, Why we don't write more novels (but should), and I was struck by some of the things he said about Filipino writers:

Novels traditionally demand sweeping views from the mountaintop. Our problem is, we have very few mountaintops here in the Philippines; of the few that we have, even fewer of us have the lungs or the inclination to scale them. Instead we have become master pedestrians, or masters of the street scene, which is why we do so well with the short story, which requires little more than a few hours or a few days of action in places like cafeterias, boarding houses, and alleyways. We often complain that our attention span as a people is very short—such that the past 30 years of our politics might as well never have happened, since no real wrongs have been redressed and no one has really been punished as we lurch from one mishap to the next. That might explain why our attention spans as readers and writers are equally brief. We see history as a distant, bloody, romantic past that we dress up for to commemorate—not as the continuously unraveling, insidiously common thread it is.

We—especially our writers in English—rarely venture out of the city; thus the only panoramas in our predominantly short fiction are those on travel posters on the wall of the office cubicle. Our forests—albeit our denuded ones—and our oceans do not figure in our work, and neither do the lives of our people in these places. In other words, our fictional space has become very small and very crowded, with a very low ceiling. This is not again to say that we cannot do or have not done wonders within that space—within, shall we say, that rat’s eye view of the world—but I’m afraid that many of our younger writers might start believing that the world is indeed that small, and shrink their brains and imaginations just to fill it rather than expand that space.

He made a really good point. Why should we limit ourselves to our immediate fictional space when there is a vast expanse out there for us to explore and write about? I think it's about time we start exploring unfamiliar territories--no matter how uncomfortable we find the unknown to be.

We shouldn't wait for inspiration to come. Instead, we have to go out and meet it.

Hay. Exhale.

Addicted to online quizzes (gawd)

2008-01-29T21:06:00.001+08:00

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world.
And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it!

The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say

Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony

Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

Wanderlust

2008-01-29T20:28:00.000+08:00

Your Travel Personality Is: The Adventurer

For you, travel is how you learn about the world. And you like to learn the stuff that's not in guidebooks.
You truly have wanderlust. When you're not traveling, you're dreaming about where you'll go next.
And your travels are truly legendary - they leave you with stories you'll be telling for the rest of your life!

What's Your Travel Personality?

I inspire >:)

2008-01-29T20:07:00.000+08:00

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!

In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart.
You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts.

At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do.
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding

When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

What's Your Personality Type?

And...

You May Be a Bit Schizotypal...

A bit odd and socially isolated.
You couldn't care less of what others think.
And some of your beliefs are a little weird.
Like that time you thought you were Jesus.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Not the most poetic of declarations

2008-01-28T19:38:00.000+08:00

Cheers Beer Commercial

2008-01-28T12:52:00.001+08:00

Living loud

2008-01-28T10:12:00.000+08:00

I had a makeover event yesterday in Ortigas and it totally inspired me to start dressing up again. Haha for the longest time, all I've been wearing to work are my uber casual jeans and shirt ensemble. My staple footwear? Flip flops. My feet are unbelievably dry from too much exposure to dust and the cold (temperature in the office is below zero). Time to pamper my feet.

So the past month has been quite the roller coaster ride for me...but yesterday I finally decided to let go of all the emotional baggage I've been lugging around with me for the last two weeks. And it just felt really great. I'm not saying I have completely recovered but I am a work in progress. If I were a canvass, I'd say I'm almost complete. Just a few more finishing touches, a dash or two of color here and there, a bit of texture, and I'm more or less *ahem* a masterpiece. Higher market value! Haha

Right after yesterday's makeover, I went home straight away and finally got to see my relatives from the states. They've been here for almost a month already and I haven't had the chance to spend time with them because of all my extracurricular activities. My absence has been felt by my family (just today my grandmother asked me to please be home early hehe) and I feel really bad about it so I've decided to take a little breather from OCCI and focus on life outside that safe, happy place in Ortigas. Hehe

Sigh. I'm starting to feel like myself again. Eyelovit.

Welcome back T!

All in a day's work

2008-01-24T15:51:00.000+08:00

Finally finished the marketing brochure I'm preparing. Well, I still have a page to go but I've already done 3/4 of the content--all the important parts--and sent it to our graphic designer for the initial layout. And it's only the first draft so I can afford to take it easy for the rest of the day. :)

Hmmm...

Now what?

Writing 101

2008-01-24T11:36:00.000+08:00

Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don’t start sentences with a conjunction.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.

~William Safire, “Great Rules of Writing”

Remember Clueless?

2008-01-23T13:56:00.000+08:00

I think it was probably THE teen movie of the 90s. And Alicia Silverstone was the ultimate golden girl.

Anyway, I don't really have anything much to say about it--except how much I loved Josh. Other than that, I'm just using it as a segue to my blonde moment during lunch--I chose to spend my break getting a foot scrub over filling my empty stomach with cheap cafeteria food.

I know it's nothing interesting and most would probably dismiss this as mere guilty pleasure but sometimes a little self-pampering is what one needs to feel better about a particularly bad day. Or week.

Next on my list--a massage.

RIP Heath :(

2008-01-23T09:20:00.001+08:00

NEW YORK - Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday at a downtown Manhattan apartment, naked in bed with sleeping pills nearby, police said. The Australian-born actor was 28. It wasn't immediately clear if Ledger had committed suicide.

He had an appointment for a massage at a residence in the tony neighborhood of SoHo, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said. A housekeeper who went to let him know the massage therapist had arrived found him dead at 3:26 p.m.

A large crowd of paparazzi and gawkers gathered outside the building on an upscale block. Ledger's body was still inside, and several police officers guarded the door.

The medical examiner's office planned an autopsy Wednesday, spokeswoman Ellen Borakove said.

While not a marquee movie star, Ledger was a respected, award-winning actor who chose his roles carefully rather than cashing in on his heartthrob looks. He was nominated for an Oscar for his performance as a gay cowboy in "Brokeback Mountain," where he met Michelle Williams, who played his wife in the film. The two had a daughter, Matilda, and lived together in Brooklyn until they split up last year.

Ledger most recently appeared in "I'm Not There," in which he played one of the many incarnations of Bob Dylan as did Cate Blanchett, whose performance in that film earned an Oscar nomination Tuesday for best supporting actress.

Ledger had finished filming his role as the Joker this year in "The Dark Knight," a sequel to 2005's "Batman Begins."

He's had starring roles in "A Knight's Tale" and "The Patriot," and played the suicidal son of Billy Bob Thornton in "Monster's Ball." He also played a heroin addict in the 2006 Australian film "Candy."

Before settling down with Williams, Ledger had relationships with actresses Heather Graham and Naomi Watts. He met Watts while working on "The Lords of Dogtown," a fictionalized version of a cult classic skateboarding documentary, in 2004.

Ledger was born in 1979 in Perth, in western Australia, to a mining engineer and a French teacher, and got his first acting role playing Peter Pan at age 10 at a local theater company. He began acting in independent films as a 16-year-old in Sydney and played a cyclist hoping to land a spot on an Olympic team in a 1996 television show, "Seat."

After several independent films, Ledger moved to Los Angeles at age 19 and co-starred opposite Julia Stiles in "10 Things I Hate About You," a teen comedy reworking of "The Taming of the Shrew."

Offers for other teen flicks soon came his way, but Ledger turned them down, preferring to remain idle than sign on for projects he didn't like.

"It wasn't a hard decision for me," Ledger told the Associated Press in 2001. "It was hard for everyone else around me to understand. Agents were like, 'You're crazy,' my parents were like, 'Come on, you have to eat.'"

His movie career caught on anyway, culminating with his Academy Award nomination opposite Jake Gyllenhaal in "Brokeback."

"Dark Knight" director Christopher Nolan said earlier this month that Ledger's performance as the Joker would be wildly different than Jack Nicholson's memorable turn in 1989's "Batman."

"It was a very great challenge for Heath," Nolan said. "He's extremely original, extremely frightening, tremendously edgy. A very young character, a very anarchic presence that taps into a lot of our basic fears and panic."

___

Associated Press Sara Kugler contributed to this report.

My name is

2008-01-22T21:28:00.000+08:00

What Tricia Isabel Means

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Goddess me

2008-01-22T21:12:00.000+08:00

Your Score: Isis
Indeed, you are 79% erudite, 79% sensual, 62% martial, and 58% saturnine.

This Egyptian supreme Goddess is certainly the most influential deity on subsequent cultures. She was the ideal figure of womanhood, usually compared with the Greek Goddess Demeter or her Roman version, Ceres.

Isis was one element of a Holy Trinity, the remaining two figures being her brother and husband Osiris and their heroic son Horus. She was the Goddess of Magic for her brilliance, as well as the Goddess of Love because of her tenacious devotion.

She is often shown with wings, curving to caress coffins and sarcophagi of many a king. In certain papyri she is shown with her falcon wing headdress, covering her ears. One of her sacred symbols is the sistrum, a musical instrument that was believed to ward off evil spirits. Isis' sistrum was carved bearing the image of a cat and was representative of the Moon.

Isis was the High Priestess and an omnipotent magician as well as the only being ever to discover the secret name of Ra. She invariably carries the ankh, the symbol for eternal life. Her name is, by the rules of numerology, adding up to the number 2 and she just so happens to be depicted on the tarot card The High Priestess.

Awww

2008-01-22T19:24:00.001+08:00

Six year old Connie Talbot sings Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

Mr. Big

2008-01-22T17:32:00.000+08:00

A line from Mr. Big in last night’s Sex & the City episode (the very first) had quite the impact on me.

Carrie had just told him she was a sex columnist and she was writing about the concept of having sex "like a man," sex with no feelings involved whatsoever.

She was about to ramble some more when Big comments, "You’ve never been in love, have you?"

That practically shuts Carrie up. And prompts me to become a little bit teary-eyed.

And then this happens:

Carrie gets out of Big’s car feeling a little bit blue about what she just heard. She then turns back, knocks on his heavily tinted window. He rolls it down and looks up at her questioningly.

She asks, “Have you ever been in love?”

His reply: “Absofuckinlutely.”

Waaaaaaaaah. Where are you my Mr. Big?

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.

2008-01-22T16:49:00.000+08:00

Your Score: Katharine Hepburn

You scored 21% grit, 42% wit, 42% flair, and 7% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.

Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes

What have you done lately?

2008-01-22T16:27:00.000+08:00

Copy the list and then "bold" everything you've done.

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
2. Swam with dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said "I love you" and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped (sort of)
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was s*** faced
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. Visited Japan
54. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
71. Taken a martial arts class
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an expert
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Eaten fugu (pufferfish)
89. Had a one-night stand
90. Gone to Thailand
91. Bought a house
92. Been in a combat zone
93. Buried one/both of your parents
94. Been on a cruise ship
95. Spoken more than one language fluently
96. Performed in Rocky Horror Picture Show
97. Raised children
98. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Ridden a bike
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

I knew I was in the wrong school!

2008-01-22T09:51:00.001+08:00

What Ateneo de Manila University "school" fits you best?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as School of Social Sciences

You are fit for SOSS. You love tie dyes and cobwebbs. You wear the horn glasses or strappy earings. You want to change the world. You believe in man. You love to connect and interact, you are special yet you don't cut yourself out from the masses. You're a patriot.

School of Social Sciences

79%

School of Humanities

64%

School of Management

50%

School of Science and Engineering

36%

The Art of Undressing

2008-01-21T22:41:00.000+08:00

'It's not what you wear...it's how you take it off.'

I missed reading.

And I wanted a light read. God knows I've had my share of baggage lately. I don't really need a dark, heavy plot to add on to it. Uh-oh shut up I'm sensing drama. Hehehe

SO...upon my last visit to Fully Booked, the title caught my eye--The Art of Undressing by Stephanie Lehmann. Quite informative for a light read. I've always found strip tease interesting and I HAVE been bugging my good friend TJ to go find us a class already...hehe

Needless to say, reading the book, which tells the story of straight-laced (and rather uptight) Ginger Levine, a 25-year-old aspiring pastry chef whose mother is a former exotic dancer who now makes a living selling sex toys and teaching the fine art of strip tease, was rather entertaining.

I found myself sympathizing and being irritated with Ginger at the same time. She was this plain, awkward girl who was just incredibly insecure over her appeal towards men--the complete opposite of her outspoken, beautiful, and feminine mother. She dresses in drab and finds it difficult to be more open and 'sexy.' She refuses to be seen naked by a guy even when they were doing it--she prefers to keep the lights turned off and would only take her clothes off once under the blanket. Yes, I am rolling my eyes now.

All throughout the book, you'd want to knock some sense into her. Especially during her particularly feminist tirades. Relax.

You'd understand, though, why she was that way. All her life she felt overshadowed by her mother's glittery presence. It didn't also help that most of her ex-boyfriends seemed to like her mom over her. Youch.

Anyway, she finds herself falling for a fellow student in her culinary arts class and, as she is desperate to win him over, she finds herself looking to her mom for advice on the art of seduction--something she has religiously condemned since, well, ever since. And so the fun begins. Lots of tiny bloopers that involve unshaven legs (among other body parts--ewww), tight-fitting cleavage-baring new shirts, horrifying first date conversations, unmet expectations, etc etc.

Kaloka.

Biyahe tayo!

2008-01-21T14:15:00.000+08:00

My Lakbayan grade is C+!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

My goals for the year

2008-01-21T11:04:00.000+08:00

1. Learn French.
2. Buy a Nikon D-80
3. Bangkok
4. Take a creative writing workshop/class
5. Bohol
6. Boracay
7. Go on one of Carlos Celdran's tours
8. Camiguin
9. Learn Diving
10. Makeup classes
11. Book project with Tricia
12. 1 short story per month
13. Painting and illustration
14. Guitar or drum lessons
15. Strip tease classes!

Laxatives

2008-01-21T10:25:00.000+08:00

I know desperate times call for desperate measures--it has been a week since I've done no.2 and I got a wee bit worried. So I finally went to the nearest drug store and got a pack of laxatives.

Never again.

I took a pill around six in the evening, didn't really feel anything weird with my tummy so I figured, wow, maybe I'm immune to its effects. Eight hours later at the crack of dawn, I awaken to gut-wrenching pain thinking, 'Immune my ass!!!!'

No pun intended.

It did the job though. And I had a nice long (enough) sleep right after. Drank a lot of water before sleeping because I was dehydrated. A few hours later, I weighed myself and found I lost around 5lbs over the weekend.

Effective when you want to lose weight fast. But I won't recommend it. It's cheating! It's like getting the answer key to an exam you ought to be studying hard for.

Thinking aloud

2008-01-19T14:02:00.000+08:00

I'm weird. One minute I'm angry (see quasi-outburst below), the next I'm apathetic, and now I'm feeling wistful, if not a bit blue.

I don't know. This is all just new to me.

Maybe one day we'll be friends again. Not right now though. I'm pulling the disappearing act for a while. After this coming weekend anyway.

Sometimes I ask myself if I'm just being melodramatic here. Not really. I just need to get my act together and I can't really do that when I see him all the time. I need to look out for myself first. I've forgotten myself the past few weeks. So as much as I'd like to oblige him by acting all normal again, I can't really do that. Even if I do miss the company.

And, well, let's face it. Things will not go back to being normal. It'll be a different version of the way things were. Besides, what is normal anyway?

One for the books

2008-01-18T11:10:00.000+08:00

I recently got out of this pseudo quasi sort of "relationship" slash arrangement with someone and I am just really feeling a bit cheated, annoyed, frustrated, etc etc by how the guy handled The Talk. As cheesy as it sounds, I laid my heart on the line, went the extra mile, became my utmost vulnerable, yadda yadda yadda, and all I got were these emotionally-stunted lines:

FYI guys, this is how NOT to end things with someone.

Girl says: I really really like you.
Classic guy response #1: Yeah...I kinda feel that...
Girl thinks: I did not just hear that, right?

Guy says: I love someone else. And I'm choosing to be with her.
Girl remains quiet as she lets this sink in, finally says: Ok, I suppose I already expected you'd say that.
Classic response #2 (delivered while looking straight into eyes of Girl): But...I just want you to know...that if I weren't with her, if I were single...ikaw na. Even before things got complicated between us.
Girl incredulously thinks: Is that supposed to make me feel better?

Girl says: I noticed you've been very distant lately.
Classic response #3: It's not just with you...I've been distant to everyone. And it's really because...I've been having difficulties in my career.
Girl, having just had the wind knocked out of her, thinks: Guys, do NOT use this line on us women EVER. Make something up, LIE for all we care, just say something else!!!

Want to royally piss us off? Use all three on the same friggin night. Throw in a souvenir bracelet. Which we will just burn a few hours later so don't even bother.

Want to drive us on an all out rage? Next time you see us, pretend nothing happened and act all normal and friendly and casual and call us by our last names! Hoy (insert last name here)!

How convenient.

Want to annoy us even further? Suddenly text us saying "Hey I kinda felt you avoided me earlier. I guess it's okay if that's the best way you can think of setting things straight between us. I hope we'll go back to how we were before."

My advice? Stop being friendly, stop saying you understand because you DON'T and just shut up. You're not really being helpful. And the last thing we want is your pity. Because we don't need it. Your loss, not ours.

Okay, back to work.

Man I am royally pissed! And yes, I know my reaction's a bit delayed but my reason's really simple--I was distraught and was a bit slow in processing what was happening. It must've been shock brought about by all the anti-climatic answers I was getting.

Oh well. Men.

The demon barber of fleet street

2008-01-17T11:45:00.000+08:00

Johnny Depp is officially a god. Not only can he act and look sinfully delicious in front of the camera (would you just look at that picture?), he can sing as well. As in I didn't mind sitting through all the blood and gore and Mrs. Lovett's meat pies so long as I saw Johnny's disturbingly hot face up on screen and hear him sing in that (surprisingly) sinful baritone of his.

Well, up until the latter parts of the movie because I was already struggling not to throw up the penne al telefono I had for dinner at Press Cafe earlier.

I am not one for blood and gore, I tell you. The last gory film I watched was Hostel 2 and it nearly killed me. As in FCUK.

Rica and I were laughing about how traumatizing our movie dates usually end up. Every time we watch a movie without the rest of our brunas, we somehow end up watching the goriest, bloodiest, vomit-inducing (though we never came to it) films.

And it is, ironically, always by accident.

First time it happened was during the French Spring Festival back in 2005. We wanted to check it out and instead of being wooed by the french, we ended up traumatized. The flick we happened to see at the time was a french cop film and it was disturbing. As in they showed a friggin autopsy right up on screen for heaven's sakes!!! Needless to say, we finished the movie with the biggest of headaches.

Second time was when we watched Pan's Labyrinth, which was, in all fairness, a really good movie. However, we came in expecting to watch this purely fantastical, children's fairy tale, happily ever after type of movie...and, well, we eventually learned it wasn't. Instead we found ourselves seeing people dying of gunshots to the head, lots of blood, pregnant women dying, etc etc.

And now, Sweeney Todd. Well I knew it was bound to be a dark film and I more or less know the gist of the story because I've heard of the broadway version but I guess I'll never be prepared to see men's throats cut in different blood-spurting, blood-curdling, bloody bloody bloody ways (and force and speed), bodies being dismembered...huhu it was tres horrible.

But the movie, as any Tim Burton film, is really good. I just wish I didn't eat dinner before watching it.

And I still love Johnny Depp. I'd watch it again (perhaps after three months) only for him. :D

And Sacha Baron Cohen was a hoot as Signor Adolfo Pirelli. Check out the hair.

And I've always been a fan of Helena Bonham-Carter. She was a delight to watch in this one.

Psychosomatic

2008-01-16T14:50:00.000+08:00

I read somewhere that most illnesses are caused by mental processes of the person rather than immediate physiological causes. I've always thought this true; I mean, I think some members of my family alone are prime examples of psychosomatic illnesses--there are a lot of neurotic, high blood people in my family. Gawd.

I'm not saying I'm one of them but I think that recent strains in my life are manifesting in my physical health.

I've been having a hard time breathing lately--my respiratory allergies are acting up. As in I can't seem to release all these toxins in my body and I think it reflects the state my mind is in right now.

I'm just blocked. As in I'm not doing it consciously but I've somehow managed to curb all feeling whatsoever. Denying the fact that I am (I guess) sad..? See? I can't even say it with feeling. I just don't feel sad at all. I am just numb. Literally feeling nothing. I thought I'd be devastated but I'm not. The most I'm feeling is anger--but not even the full-blown kind. I just feel I was deprived of an explanation or whatever it is I feel that wasn't given to me but that's just about it.

I know I must be feeling something beneath the numbness but I can't seem to let it out. I haven't even cried yet. I did the night before it ended but after...nothing.

I don't think this is healthy.

And I've been putting off getting better too. As in lahat ng bawal, that's what I do and take in. And I'm suddenly addicted to sleep again. I haven't done my morning pages in two days--and it's an exercise that's supposed to let all these negative thoughts out but I've been neglecting it. I've been bottling things up.

Argh. This is really stupid. Whatever. I'll figure it out eventually.

I'm excited about...

2008-01-15T10:26:00.000+08:00

The upcoming Sex and the City movie!

Carrie's getting married!!!

I can't wait to see Mr. Big up on screen again. Sigh. He's the person who perfectly encapsulates my idea of how a man should be. Yeah he had commitment issues but in the end, he came to his senses and pursued Carrie all the way to Le Paris! Eyelovit. :)

Anyway, I'm not in the mood to work yet so I've been taking Sex and the City online quizzes. I took a couple and the results were the same:

You scored 50% Carrie
Your answers peg you as a Carrie-type, much influenced by the Air Sign qualities associated with Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. Like confident Carrie, a sex columnist, you're curious and perceptive, always seeking answers and never satisfied with the superficial. An Air Sign influence can lead to indecision and an avoidance of tough issues, like with Carrie and her on-again, off-again attachment to Mr. Big. Forward-thinking, incredibly intelligent and witty, you just exude quirky charm. You'd be utterly bored by someone who's just a pretty face or hot body -- though you don't mind looking and flirting! You're more turned on by an equally smart and funny mate, someone who challenges your mind and makes you laugh. You love to talk, so you need a good listener who's open to playful and eccentric ideas about love and lovemaking.

You scored 30% Miranda
You chose many of the same answers that Earth Sign-like Miranda, the cynical but pragmatic lawyer, might have chosen. Just like Miranda's had a tough time deciding whether to give in to the affections of Steve the Bartender, you don't give your heart up to just anyone. Miranda shies away from a relationship with Steve because he's 'just' a bartender, not something more conventionally ambitious or stable. Those with powerful Earth Sign qualities -- characteristics associated with Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn -- are cautious in love and seek stability and status over nearly anything else. Earth Signs provide a steady, realistic attitude and they can bring order out of chaos. A little-known Earth Sign fact: Incredibly sensual, you seethe beneath that smart, expensive business suit of yours, yearning for intimacy but hesitant to give up your material needs, your career ambitions or your responsibilities for a passionate moment that might not turn out the way you'd hope.

Ok, back to work. Well, after lunch. I've decided to take an early lunch break. I'm going to Rockwell to buy myself Havs because the sandals I'm wearing now are killing me. And I want to buy that black Topshop shirt that's on sale. Thank God it's pay day!

Guess today I'm 100% female and retail therapy is LOVE.

Finito.

2008-01-14T16:21:00.000+08:00

Well, it was inevitable.

Dealing with it now.

The inevitable

2008-01-13T11:49:00.000+08:00

I still can't believe IT will happen today.

I am going to be so...crushed. Tang ina bahala na.

Microsoft Surface - The Possibilities

2008-01-11T11:13:00.001+08:00

Let the games begin!

2008-01-10T19:09:00.000+08:00

Well, I decided to skip the haircut and let my hair grow for now. Hehe start the year with a stretch!

Life's been better the past week. After my pre and post new year drama moments (and when I say drama, I mean DRAMA), I finally managed to get my act together. And I love it. :)

I really think 2008's going to be THE Year. As in I can feel it. A lot of things are happening and it's only the first of the month. As in I can feel the excitement. It's crazy but I'm just really feeling so optimistic about what's in store for me!

Maybe I'm just feeling kilig I got to see my crush recently that I'm all giddy and excited about anything in particular. Hahaha *ahem*

Anyway.

I have a lot of things lined up early this year:

A collaborative book project with Tricia and Karlo--a writer (moi), chef and photographer tandem. Don't you just love it?
Short story writing contest!
Outside coaching for LEAP 35--I'm so excited to see my ALC council go through their LEAP! They are in for one hell of a ride! Laugh laugh cry cry! hahaha I can't wait until I finally coach as well. Now's not yet the right time for me but I'm thinking third quarter of the year...hehehe time will tell :) I was so touched by what one of the recent Leap graduates said to me last night. She said she found me an inspiration ever since we met a couple months ago. I swear I was just so touched and amazed that I could leave that kind of impact on someone without me being aware of it...awww I guess I really have changed. Leap has just done so much for me. If I could take it again, I would. But, well, you can only take it once so I will just coach nalang. A deeper, more selfless experience :)
French lessons! It's all part of my action plan to eventually apply for a job at the United Nations. Checked out their site and apparently, knowledge of the French language is an advantage. Oui!
*toot* racket with Cel --I read in your blog that it's still confidential so...I'll be mum about it for now! lol
My birthday adventure! I've already booked my flight to Dumaguete to visit my superficial goddess friend. I'm leaving on the day of my birthday so I will be spending a part of my day 30,000 feet up in the air! You're right baklush, it is rather exciting! I'll also be in two different places that day--so symbolic! Comfort zone Manila to unexplored Dumaguete. Hmmm. I love it. It speaks of adventure--a good omen for my 24th year! Hehehe
Bangkok trip --I'm not sure yet if I'll be going with my family or my friends or just by myself to visit Tricia. Haha I'm not sure about the date for this one yet but IT WILL HAPPEN.
My job--IT's gonna be huge...We're going to do one hell of a job marketing this project. I'm declaring it already. Make or Break. I'm betting on MAKE. ;)
My crazy predicament--I swear I don't know what'll happen but whether it ends up good or bad or hilarious, this happened to me for a reason so I'm obviously meant to take some lesson or whatever from it. I'm excited, anxious, optimistic, lost, worried, content? I'm a lot of things. Point is, I'm just glad I'm feeling every single interesting fantastic moment of it. So there. I don't know what I'm going to do or what is going to happen but I can't wait to see how things will pan out. Sigh. I'll just trust it'll end up the way it's meant to end...or begin. Whatever. All I know is I do not (and will not) regret a single minute of it--even the bad parts. :)

So far, that's 2008 for me! It won't end there though. I just know there are a lot of crazies in store for me that I may not even be aware of yet but all the more I look forward to it. LOL

I only hope there wouldn't be any more addition to my psycho stalkers list. Waaah. Okay, deep breaths. Exhale all of them away to Neverneverland. Sayonara suckers!

The itch

2008-01-08T10:07:00.000+08:00

It's that time of the season again...I am itching to get a haircut. I don't know why but I've never had the patience to grow my hair long. Every time it reaches a certain length (it's usually once my hair reaches the lower part of my shoulders), I get the urge to cut it short. And then once I've had a haircut, I wish I let it grow long instead.

Sigh. What a kikay dilemma.

Decisions, decisions.

I want--need to get a massage though. My back has been hurting like crazy lately. Needs a lot of kneading!!! I wonder where I can get a massage that won't cost too much?

Oh well back to work.

Fully Booked GCs are love

2008-01-06T14:20:00.001+08:00

Finally got my own copy of The New Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards. This book was recommended to me by my Fine Arts elective teacher 3 years ago. I was taking Oil Painting as an elective then and I asked for advice on how I could improve on sketching because I'm better at painting than illustration. I know squat about shading, lighting, etc etc.

Thank you to my officemate kris kringle for giving me a gift cert from Fully Booked!

I'm feeling much better about myself today. And I'm so proud because I've been really committed to doing the Artist's Way workshop. Swear, I was so not the type to follow a workbook religiously. Guess the new year's bringing out some qualities I didn't know I possessed. I've been doing my daily morning pages (these are 3 pages worth of long hand journal writing)--week 1, I did seven out of seven. That's an accomplishment because it entails me waking up at least 30 minutes earlier than usual. And we all know I am not a morning person. And how much I love sleeping.

I also managed to accomplish some of the tasks assigned for the week. One's the Artist Date, which I did today. Loved spending time alone. I was dreading it because I noticed the times I spend by myself lately are spent agonizing over this certain issue I have--literally made myself sick over it. But today I just spent it relaxing. And I went shopping for new jeans. And the book!

I love it. I didn't know I missed the company I keep when I'm alone. :)

So I've finally decided I will be spending my birthday in Dumaguete with Igor. I'm taking Friday and Monday off from work so that'll be 4 days of escape from my chaotic Manila existence. Bliss. And I'll be visiting a place I've never been to, which is perfect. New year, new destination. I need the change in scenery. And I've been hearing about how peaceful the place is--totoo ba baklush?
Hehe anyway, can't wait til February! I'm booking my flight later so I'll make the Cebu Pacific P1 promo.

I'm postponing Bangkok though. I think my family's flying there over the summer so I might as well take advantage of the free trip. And that'll be one too many absences for February if I push through with the trip.

travel plans

2008-01-04T16:48:00.000+08:00

I've been needing to get away from Manila for a while...so I'm thinking of going to Dumaguete to visit Igor on my birthday weekend in Feb. And then going to Bangkok the last weekend of February to visit my friend Trish!

Haven't booked my tickets yet but I ought to do it soon. Cebu Pacific's P1 promo's almost over! It ends this Sunday I think.

Wow. Haven't been this excited in a month!

I guess I really do need to detoxify. What with all that has happened in the past month. I think I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the crazies happening to me. Hehehe.

Sigh. Anyone want to tag along on either trip? :)

Anthem by Ayn Rand

2008-01-03T15:22:00.000+08:00

Finally managed to finish reading a book over the holidays. And a philosophical one at that. It talks of the experience of Equality 7-2521, a 21-year old man living in the future dark ages wherein every man and woman is objectified as part of the single and only entity, "We." Anthem talks of Equality 7-2521's struggle towards individualism, a concept foreign to their society. Really makes you think about how frustrating it would be like if we were all objectified into one "type" or entity. No personal freedom to decide what you want to do with your life, your future occupation dictated by a "higher" council with you not being allowed to even object or have a say in the matter. Totally suffocating. *shudders*

Anyway, I got inspired to read again by my cousin Francis. We had dinner at Fish & Co. before the new year and we had a really great discussion about philosophy. He's my favorite person to talk to about intellectual topics lately. He's still studying so his enthusiasm (and frustration) towards learning rubs off on me every time we hang out. Makes me feel like a student again. Hehe

Anyway, was telling him about my job and how I wanted to make a new blog--something intellectual, something that'll obviously be less personal than this one. I just miss learning new things and blogging about things I'm unfamiliar about will definitely be a good avenue for me to "unblock." I've been on a learning rut lately. Hehe and with the new year and all, I think it's time to climb out of my little hole. :D

Who knows, it might even empower me to write a worthwhile piece again! And I really DO have to start working on that book Trish, Karlo and I are planning on having published this year. Syet. Work work work!

New year, new beginnings :)

2008-01-02T15:26:00.000+08:00

Sigh.

Crazy 2007

2008-01-01T18:42:00.000+08:00

I always do this at the beginning of every year. Instead of listing down my resolutions for the new year, I reflect on the events of the year past. So here goes :)

It started out rather uneventful.

January, I remember being on the verge of resigning from my old PR agency, yet struggling at the same time to remain optimistic that things would start improving within the year. And for a while, it did! Lots of interesting new events, got to meet a lot of new people...of course, the most interesting being Igor--yes baklush, you entering Outsource made it easier (not to mention more fun) for me to stay a wee bit longer ;)

February, another year of me being single on Valentine's Day! hahaha I think I had dinner with my brunas, which automatically trumps going on a date with a guy I barely even know--which was what was going to happen had I agreed to go on that blind date my old officemate was going to set me up with.

Went to check out the Hot Air Balloon Fiesta in Clark, Pampanga in February also. Went with Alet and my sister. That was interesting.

March I learned to appreciate the art of drinking wine, what with all the society events happening at Rockwell, who was my numero uno client back then. Tons of events that month--Philippine Fashion Week (where I first laid my eyes on Mikee Carrion--still hung up on him haha) and that Triple Milestone Celebration in Rockwell Center, where the dragon lady told me I was project manager three days before the event. Whee! Haha all in the past! I loved it though. It was ngarag but I found I could do it. Even managed to get the event in the front page of two major daily papers. Wheee! :)

April, went home to Davao for Holy Week and I toured two of my old Amex officemates around my hometown. Fun times! I miss my Amex barkada. :)

May was when I finally traveled again! Went crazy touring Singapore with my sister! We stayed at Alet's snazzy serviced apartment in Penang Road where she was staying for a month until she found her own place in...er, I forgot the name. Had a fling with an Aussie law student. Just a little something to remember my trip by. It was sweet! And I got to watch Phantom of the Opera at the Esplanade! :)

Also, May was when I saw noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker! And it was also when I finally left my old job. Last day at work was very productive--managed to arrange an Urban Zone feature on Rockwell. Got to work with Daphne Paez and Ito Kish. Hmmm interesting.

May was also when I started my involvement in OCCI--took the first part of their Leadership Trilogy program--the FLEX. Major turning point in my life right there. Oooh May was also when my best friend Au went to the States for the internship of a lifetime! Yeah Miami! hahaha :D

June I took the ALC before I went home to Davao for a much needed vacation. It was also when Steffi visited from Riyadh and I was able to convince her to go to Davao with me. Toured her around the city, took her to Pearl Farm with my brothers, which was a blast. I remember wanting to find work in Singapore during this time but I have to admit that it was a decision I made on a whim so eventually, I had to let it go. Now, I have no plans of going anywhere just yet. Lovin' Manila. hehe

July to September I took the LEAP. And things just went uphill from there. Well, it was one hell of a roller coaster ride but every dip, every loop, every uphill climb was well worth it. I met wonderfully amazing people--people who really get who I am, people who would support me at the drop of a hat, crazy people like me really. A number of them have grown to be my closest friends. Really an amazing journey. I'm still involved in the company until now. Doing my best to pay it forward. So far, I've volunteered to staff the FLEX and ALC workshops and it's a really different, more fulfilling experience. And I say this with no bullshit. Because bullshit is overrated.

I lost a lot of the weight I gained in college during LEAP. Also was finally able to work on building up my writing portfolio--I'm working on writing more stories! I love it. Also during our LEAP Night, I got auctioned off for a date that never really pushed through which was a relief! hahaha. And I slayed my dragons and I made a lot of breakthroughs. :)

I also got to watch AVENUE Q in September!!! It was the bomb! Eyelovit and I can't wait to watch it again!

Anyway, October I was out of a job again. I had worked for a while for another PR agency but I lasted only a month because, well, it was not the ideal place for me at that time. I got to go to Cebu though, which was interesting. Well, it was something of a nightmare--especially what happened AFTER we all went back (les stalker on top of everything)--but I came out of it stronger so I'm still thankful for that experience. This was September, I think.

October to November involved a lot of kwentuhan sessions, late night talks on the phone, DVD marathons at my cousin's place, reunions, Leap 34 outside coaching activities, more kwentuhan sessions--I was jobless but I never ran out of things to do. And I was very productive also so it made every single day rewarding. And I was doing all this in really good company which is a plus! hehehe

I started work in my new company in November too. It's been interesting so far...

December...sigh. December was just the best. The Grand Finale. And I can't and will not talk about it here because it's something I want to keep for myself. Basta I love December :)

So there. 2007 was ripe with a lot of interesting events. Some were bad but I swear they're totally forgettable when compared to all the great events that's happened--are happening. 2007 was a great year--one hell of a ride. As in I can honestly say I lived life to the fullest in 2007--especially towards the end...but I get the feeling that 2008 is going to be even more spectacular. :)

So...

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Tagged by Steffi

2007-12-30T22:33:00.000+08:00

Here’s how it works:
Use the first letter of your name to answer each question. Must be places or names…Nothing made up. Can’t use own name for boy/girl’s name question. If can’t answer, skip to next one.

1. Famous Singer: Tori Amos
2. Four Letter Word: T-r-i-p
3. Street: Timog Ave.
4. Colour: Tangerine
5. Gifts/Present: Technomarine watch
6. Vehicle: Toyota
7. Things in Souvenir Shop: Tshirts
8. Boy Name: Ted
9. Girl Name: Tanya
10. Movie title: Trainspotting
11. Drink: Tubig
12. Occupation: Travel writer
13. Celebrity: Tom Hanks
14. Magazine: T3
15. City: Toulouse, Tagaytay
16. Sports: Tennis
17. Fruit: Tamarind
18. Reason for Being Late to work: Traffic!
19. Something you throw away: Uh, trash?
20. Something you shout: Tanga!

Tis the season for reunions!

2007-12-26T10:54:00.000+08:00

Had one with my highschool barkada! Finally complete again! :)

Haven't posted since I arrived. No internet connection 'cause the PC's busted! Will post again soon. Right now, all I can say is...this has been the best December ever :)

In the meantime:

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

Fire!

2007-12-21T18:18:00.000+08:00

How's this for a Christmas omen--> the belen display in front of my building caught up in flames!!!

Hehe they're saying the Christmas lights went bonkers. True to my always-at-the-last-minute nature, I came down to find the fire had already been put out! Dagnabbit!

I kid. I took a photo. Okay, two photos so I can choose which to upload later. hehe no more fire in the photo but you just get to see the aftermath. As in all black and dirty. Hehe

I wonder if the office Christmas party's still on...I haven't even wrapped my gift yet. Hay buhay! :)